Four years going and I’ve almost finished reading it!
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."
He said he’d never heard of such a de-vice.
I think she’s a keeper.
It’s going to be directed by Tinten Quarantino.
If so, can you please stop poaching my staff?
Miner: "mine"
Baggers can't be choosers after all.
I’d really like to see 2020
I said "But she has a great personality."
But it's just not cutting it.
Tonight we're gonna' party like it's VLAN 99.
It's remarkable
Since he was my buddy, I was doing this thing for next to nothing. He called me up the other morning and our conversation went as follows
"Hey buddy, do you think you could come by my place and install a couple of heaters?"
"Yeah for sure! Consider it a 'house warming' gift."
I could basically hear his eyes rolling.
EDIT: Phones don't format properly.
I asked him if he was a temp.
He said no.
I said, "Cool."
I'm going to make sure I follow it, I don't want to get scent home.
It just doesn't make cents.
I have to say, it was quite the disapp-ointment.
It was a terrible icebreaker.
Apparently it’s going to be very gritty.
I put it down before leaving the store, though. Wouldn't want to get into the habit of shoplifting.
His name is Steven. We already had a Steven. The other day they both walked in together. I ask >"Which one of you guys is taller?"
>"He is."
>"Oh, so you aren't Even Stevens."
Fell in love with the wireless at my house. It's like the Wifi never had
...I asked if he was too busy clowning around.
On mobile sorry if errors. Context: I work in a bar. We hired a new girl, she came in right before it got busy. After two hours worked working together..
Me: "Sorry I didn't get a chance to properly introduce myself. I'm Max by the way....but that's not my real last nMe"
Her:"Hi, I'm Gabbi, wait, what?"
Me:"nevermind"
We got a new guy at work sitting across from me. My boss stood up and says "I'm gonna run up to the bank real quick." Without missing a beat he looks her in the eyes and says "You should probably take your car, it would be a lot faster."
I'm gonna like this new guy.
"Well that escalated quickly"
Walking with a coworker talking about my 6 week old son Miles:
Coworker: Seems like Miles is progressing quicker than most at his age. He's got some good genes!
Me: Good khakis, too.
Not my best work, but again: new dad here. You gotta crawl before you can walk!
In our cooler and the cooling unit has a pipe running through the current shelves. So my boss and I are kinda weighing the pros and cons of taking this shelf out. We determined that it wasn't going to be easy but ultimately worth it. She says, "we're going to need a jigsaw to get this thing out of here." And I reply with "hmm, I don't really know how a puzzle is going to help in this situation."
Me: What's his name?
Her: His name is Jackson, I chose it because his dads name is Jack.
I just walk off laughing, It was great.
"Well there is 'Scuse me, 'scuse you, so at least two "
A few of the new trainees approached me at work today and told me how part of their (and probably every other American's) New Years Resolutions were to get in better shape. They proceeded to ask me if I knew any gyms in the area.
Naturally I responded, "No, but I know a few James's"
Groaning ensued.
So I recently got some part time work and I'm beginning today and my dad offered to give me a lift over. I had to pick up some black clothes aswell as part of my uniform.
We ere just getting ready to leave and my father was looking at me and said "You should of wore orange!", I hadn't a clue what the hell he was talking about, and before I could even reply he followed up "...because Orange is the New Black right?!" almost immediately!
He doesn't even watch the damn show..
You didn't know? All ovens are self cleaning!
throws me a sponge
Clean it yourSELF.
Sorry, but I'm mono-game-ous.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
