A man goes to bar in New Orleans

Man: Can I have a corona and two hurricanes please

Bartender: That'll be $20.20.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Unpopular-Truth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2020
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What do you dall a new orleans bar in greyscale?

A grey nola bar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-BTFraggerCS-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
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Did you hear about the highway being built by the college in New Orleans?

It was Tulane

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spenpenn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.

To summarize:

He's never gonna give you Up

Never gonna lend you Down

Never gonna run around, and dessert you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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What did T-Pain say to the girl at the bar in New Orleans?

Imma bayou a drink

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheNightmanCometh10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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What do you call a promiscuous woman from New Orleans?

A Lucy-Anna

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/labink
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2019
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What is the grandmother from New Orleans favorite food?

Gran-nola bars

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Obi1DidntHave2Die
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2017
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When my dad would visit me when I lived in New Orleans

Points to Police Car

"sorry4partying did you know why there's so much crime in New Orleans?

Because there's NO PD!"

Joke was recycled by him 4-5 times throughout the 4 years I lived there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sorry4partying
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2014
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What does a cow call his girlfriend?

His significant udder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JhonKa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2014
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Almost got fired for this one

I work at a pretty busy spot in New Orleans, the French quarter to be exact. People coming in and leaving an item they brought with them happens a lot after a few beers. This one guy leaves a chair and in half an hour he comes back for it.
Chair Guy "Excuse me sir, did I leave a chair here?"
Me "What do you think this is pal?? Some kind of CHAIR-ITY??"

If his eyes could roll anymore then they already were, they would have rolled out of his head.
Chair guy "get me your manager right now"
Me "Now that's not very CHAIR-ITABLE of you either"
Edit: Thank you for the gold kind stranger, you are very CHAIR-ITABLE, for popping my gold CHAIR-Y

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SendMeASmile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2015
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All she wanted was Root Beer

While standing at the register of a New Orleans Hamburger & Seafood Co, the lady taking our order asked what we would like to drink. My girlfriend responds "I want some barq's!" To which I promptly replied, "woof, woof, WOOF!" 0 laughs or smiles and I could feel the air around me thicken with dad joke cringe. Fuck it, I loved it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ddesla2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2015
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The conversation that almost got me kicked off the boat

I was on a very nice boat party with my friend, his father and a group of their high class friends. We were in lake Pontchartrain in New Orleans, and one of the elitist sailors was trying to determine if I was seaworthy and see if I even knew where I was.

I said "Sure thing", started pointing left "over there is the port of New Orleans", now pointing to the right "and over here is the starboard of New Orleans".

My friend's dad heard the joke, and while laughing a bit he told me "One more bad joke and I'm kicking you off". To which I replied, "You're right, I should have let the opportunity sail away."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SendMeASmile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2016
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Grandpa dad joked me pretty good

Me: Whats new?

Grandpa: hmm let me see.. New York.. New Mexico.. New Orleans.. And umm.. New Jersey, yeah that's pretty new.

Me: Groan

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A_Bridgeburner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2015
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My mom got us this morning

We were all talking about the new Orleans saints symbol and my mom says M: "Its a floor de lees" (that's how she pronounced it) S: "It's pronounced flooor de lee" M: "Oh pardon my french"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/senor_apollo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2014
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Straws

Was at new orleans jazz festival with my dad, sister, and girlfriend. We got some drinks. My sister offers me a straw.

I reply "Straws are for suckers."

Chuckles and eye rolls all around.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tee142002
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2016
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I think I may have caused her actual physical pain.

A friend and I were in New Orleans and there were some hipsters listening to rap. She commented that she had not seen that often, and I said "What, Hip-Hopsters?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Paranatural
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2014
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Cross-cultural Dad joked my co-workers...

My coworker got back from the Essence Festival in New Orleans today and was sharing about it in a group of 4 black people and myself (pretty white). Her: Bourbon st. is so overrated, we just went back to the apartment at 1:30 when some fools started shooting. Me: What? Why'd you leave just when the party started poppin'!?

Groans and laughs were had by all...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PlatypusJake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2014
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Yo dawg, you trippin'

Just dad joked my boyfriend:

We're walking the streets of New Orleans, when we see a pile of white mushrooms on the ground next to a truck. It looked like someone had stepped and slipped on them.

"Looks like they were tripping on shrooms..."

Groan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KateTheGnarly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2014
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A guy walked into a bar in New Orleans and ordered a Corona Extra and two Hurricanes.

The bartender said "that'll be $20.20"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fukface_Von_Clwnstik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
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