My kids are such a handful I don’t think one nanny is enough

I need au pair

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to dinner with a cannibal family I know. The conversation was flowing. Their daughter suddenly piped up β€œMummy I don’t like Nanny”. The mother replied...

β€œWell leave her on the side and just eat your vegetables”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the Nanny store her clothes?

In her Drescher drawer

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tannerlaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My son said our nanny has been watching him for a year now.

I wished him a happy nanniversary.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eosinophart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
We’ve had to get a live-in nanny

β€˜cos that dead one wasn’t working out.”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FuzzySparrow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
The 10 year old boy I nanny got me with a great dad joke today

I just got a batch of letters from the kids I student taught and was in the middle of writing them back.

Me: I only have 8 more letters to write and then I'm done!

Boy: That won't take long! You just have to write ABCDEFGH and be done!

I've taught him well.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Got dad-joked by my Nanny!

I sneezed.

My boyfriend: Gesundheit!

Nanny: Not anymore.

Me: Wha-?

Nanny: Goes in loose now.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaisyIsBobDylan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
🚨︎ report
I hired an owl to watch my kids.

She's a real hootin' Nanny.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTipOfAkiBerg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A robber and a babysitter fall into a crevice.

There’s a crook and nanny in the nook and cranny

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FeedbackUSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
This is a story that ends in my best joke to date.

I'm a nanny, the family I work for typically hang out for 10-30 minutes before the parents leave me and baby alone, just to chat and catch up, as well as to mitigate any potential meltdowns from a sudden leaving.

Anyway, Baby has started walking and is very keen to investigate everything. Yesterday he was headed straight to the electrical outlet. So I said to him, "oh no that's not a toy! Our fingers don't go there,"

Dad says, "baby disagrees"

"That's shocking."

Dad, "That's better than any dad joke I've come up with"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDogsNameIsToes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I hired a babysitter the other day who pretends to be an owl

Called her a hootin' nanny

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DumbassNinja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Nsf

When a Billie goat and a nanny goat have sex, are they just kidding

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Servicemanager1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A Dungeons & Dragons Related Dad Joke...

I'm currently running my players through a D&D adventure titled "Curse of Strahd".

Last session, my players found a journal revealing details about the main villain, Count Strahd Von Zarovich. When they acquired it, I passed the adventure book over--opened up to an illustration depicting the journal's pages--and one of the players proceeded to read. After struggling for a bit, he said, "I'm having a tough time reading this cause it's so cursive."

Yes," I responded. "It's the cursive Strahd."

I had that one chambered and ready for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.

What my players don't know is that I'm also going to include a few other bits of flavor for my them to find as they progress through the game:

  • A fancy handbag with the initials "SVZ" hammered into the leather... the "purse of Strahd"
  • A grave in which the Von Zarovich family nanny is buried... the "nurse of Strahd"
  • A carriage very obviously built to accommodate Strahd's coffin... the "hearse of Strahd"
  • A book full of poetry written during Strahd's younger days, before he was consumed by darkness... the "verse of Strahd"
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/transplantasian
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
🚨︎ report
screwing around with my wife.

After drilling a hole, inserting the plastic sleeve, then driving a philips head to attach the nanny cam securely to the wall in our baby's room...

Wife: "Good job! You nailed it!"

Me: "Actually honey, I screwed it."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TukisOfFire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Tragic victim of dad joke

I went to the library with the kids (7 y/o girl, 3 y/o boy) I nanny and got all these children's books for the little boy. We got home and I opened them to read to him and there were no words. Just pictures. Me: Are you kidding me? Little girl: What is it? Me: This book has no words! Girl: You shouldn't of judged the book by its cover. Needless to say she owned me

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Supernanny9108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.