What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Well that crash landed
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ILooveMangoes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What starts with an E and ends with an E, but often only has one letter?
πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sacca7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Know the difference, kids
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't cows wear flip flops?

They lactose.

Edit test.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œWhat day is today, Adam?”

β€œFor the last time, it’s Christmas, Eve.”

Edit: Thanks for so much love. Merry Xmas!

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
🚨︎ report
True story: We we’re driving in the car today when my five year old found an umbrella and opened it...

My wife yelled at him to close it immediately, as it wasn’t safe in a moving vehicle. I told her it wasn’t a big deal since both of our vehicles have umbrella insurance.

The kids didn’t get it but it elicited a nice groan from the wife, so I’m pretty sure it counts.

πŸ‘︎ 394
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Trees aren't stationary...

I was hiking in Olympic NP last year and we took a break. Soaking in the scenery and she was feeling philosophical; she said that 'it must be lonely to be a tree, you just stay in one place forever'. I let that hang in the air for a bit then replied, 'No, eventually you would leave'. She nearly choked on her water.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolverine_wannabe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
[REQUEST] Star Wars Bird Puns

Working on a little something. Give me your best and I will include you in the credits.

So far I only have: Coo Skywalker

Edit: thanks for all the replies! I will post game here soon, and pm those whose puns I end up using.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wickjest
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
🚨︎ report
My daughter will be a great dad someday

Last night, I tried to tell my 10 year old daughter the classic "Kangaroo walks into a bar" joke. For those who are not familiar, a version of this. I got to the point where the Kangaroo orders the first beer, and my daughter interrupted me with "let me guess - the beer wasn't hoppy enough." Nope. But I like the way she thinks!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeDC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What radio station do pirates listen to?

NP Arrrrrrrrr

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Idris Elba with the dad joke x-post from r/funny

http://i.imgur.com/GhtW3Vq.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelsew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
🚨︎ report
What state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minisoda

*I did not come up with this.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geloni
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
🚨︎ report
This submission to /r/techsupportgore
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flashman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Xpost from /r/funny. Puns=dadjoke gold

I love these http://imgur.com/gallery/NpJs8

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stilsjx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
🚨︎ report
/u/TopRamen247 found dadding in the wild.

Found on this ELI5, /u/TopRamen247 proofs to be capable to be a dad.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gerbie3000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2015
🚨︎ report
I just removed the "T"...

I received a text after helping a friend out today...

FRIEND: "Thanks for being here for me today."

ME: "Np, I had trouble getting there so I just removed the 'T' "

I also stole and butchered this joke from a comedian but she laughed anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chargerheadmob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Thought you guys would appreciate this post on /r/nostupidquestions...

http://np.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/2kxj73/what_is_carpool_tunnel_syndrome_how_do_i_avoid_it/

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Marx0r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Got dadjoked on ELI5.

http://np.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2f8c1r/eli5_why_are_deer_extremely_sensitive_to_even_the/ck6wa5c

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lacqui
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2014
🚨︎ report
I dad-joked in /r/bitchimabus

> johnmal85

> Is there a subreddit with pictures of stuff in lava or hardened like this?

> > memorizemee

>> I'd try r/lava, but its pretty much dead.

> > > confluencer

> > > So are you telling me that /r/lava has cooled down?

> > > > memorizemee

> > > > God damn it...

Sauce: http://np.reddit.com/r/bitchimabus/comments/2ctipf/bitch_i_have_been_consumed_by_molten_rock/cjiwrjy

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
🚨︎ report
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ford456fgfd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do pirates listen to on the radio?

NP ARRRRHH!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartacats
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.