A list of puns related to "NOS (drink)"
they don't steep around
So I went back home
Number 1.
Number 2.
This was the last straw
This isn't my joke, I just thought it deserves to be on r/puns
I must be soda hydrated.
Wat-er you gonna do?
No, Iβve been eating frog legs. What you smell is the hops!
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"How about something to eat?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"What about some peanuts?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
The anteater replies, "I was born with it!"
The bartender says for you no charge
βItβs a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoffβ, said the bartender.
βJust call me Hoffβ, he replied.
βSureβ, said the bartender, βno hassleβ.
..NO MORE READING !!
βSanta: youβve been around since the 4th century, seen alphabets and languages rise and fall. Do you have a favorite letter?β
Claus thinks about it, scratches his thick white beard and says: βA B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zβ
βWell Santa, I just asked for one. What does that mean?β
βAnd I gave you one! My favorite letter of the alphabet is the most Christmasy one out there! No-L!β
There was no body, arms or legs to him but he was functioning normal and his parents loved him. On his 21st birthday his dad took him to a bar, bought him a beer and gave it to him to drink. Suddenly his torso grew out of his head. Around him amazed the bar started chanting βDrink, Drink!β His dad got a second beer and gave it to him, this time he grew arms and hands. The stunned crowd all chanted again βDrink, Drinkβ He got his third beer and drank it himself with his new hands, suddenly legs and feet grew. The crowd applauded and cheered. The son couldnβt believe it and started to run. He ran around in circles and then out of the bar. Unfortunately he ran into the road, got hit by a truck and was killed instantly. The barman looked at his dad, sighed and said βHe should have quit while he was a headβ
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
A man walked into a bar with his dog and ordered a few drinks. At the end of the night, when he got the tab, he was astounded at the $50 check. He calls the bar tender over hoping to strike a deal. βBartender, I only have 20 bucks I canβt pay for this drink. Letβs make a deal, if my dog can talk then youβll let me have my drinks for free.β The bartender states, βthere is no way that damn dog can talk! Pay me the money!β The man in response states, βNo no sir, watch. Spots, what kind of situation are you in when you didnβt study for a test?β The dog, βRuff!β The man carries on the bit, βSee bar tender my dog can talk! Youβre in a rough situation when you donβt study!β The bartender, βNow boy donβt play with me now, just pay your tab, that dog canβt talk!β βWell here, Iβll prove it to you. Spots, what texture is sandpaper?β βRuff!β The bartender reaches hand over the counter, almost touching the man, βI wonβt ask again sir.β βI have one more, just watch. Spots, who is the best baseball player?β βRuff!β The bartender, done being fooled with, throws the man in his dog out of the bar, taking all his money. He looks at his dog sadly, βsorry spots, I guess he doesnβt believe you can talk...β The dog looks up, confused, βmaybe I shouldβve said DiMaggio.β
I've been out to at least 40 different bars since then, but no one seems to carry that brand. Anyone know where to find it?
He said no, but it was worth a shot.
When asking the bartender how much it costs they reply βFor you? No charge.β
Turns out I was in no fit state to drive it home either.
Ground beef
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef
What do you call a cow that has been knighted?
Sir Loin
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef Jerky
What do you call a cow that dies in a helicopter crash?
Kobe Beef
I asked her, βwhat are my options?β
She said, βyes or no.β
1: I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea. 2: Can February March? No, but April May. 3: I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 4: Never trust an atom, they make up everything! 5: Β I made a pun about the wind but it blows. 6: I canβt believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off! 7: What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee! 8: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink! 9: I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii
"Coffee. Get it? Cough-ee."
But when I drink Fanta, no one says Iβm fantastic...
Because in space, no one here use cream
Me: No, I said... βIβm giving up! Drinking for a month!β
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase.
"Well son, now that you've got a kid of your own, I think it's time to give you this"
"Dad, you don't mean-"
"Yes son, I do" Dad pulls out a copy of 1001 dad jokes.
"Dad .. I'm honoured ..", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honored", replies his father. "I'm dad".
I just read an article on the dangers of drinking....
Scared the crap out of me!
So that's it!
After today, no more reading.
That may be no big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.
As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple...all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."
As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.
The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.
She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.
This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"
She answered, "THE TEETH!"
No, because it's the silver bullet.
So I went home.
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"How about something to eat?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"What about some peanuts?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
The anteater replies, "I was born with it!"
the barman replies "for you, no charge".
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge!"
"for you, no charge."
For you? No charge.
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