Not even remotely
"Is it because I'm so beautiful?" she asked
"NO, It's because you're constantly expanding."
She’s my univ-ursula 🪐✨
My son and I were in Lids picking out a nice hat for a Christmas present. We wanted to see one on the top rack so the employee grabbed her little hook tool to grab it. Well, she dropped it on the floor... I told my son "I think we can get it for dirty percent off!" My son smirked and laughed just barely but started saying no dad, just no. I was pretty proud of myself!
I guess they think it’s pulp fiction.
She said " thanks Dad, that means everything to me".
You can't own a university"
This really happened.
The moovies.
I went to a Kommunity Kollege, and I'm pretty smart.
I halve the Power!!!
Didn’t like that joke?
That’s okay...it’s only got 3 stars
I said, “This changes everything!”
Conga rats!
This changes everything
Movies!
.... Because he's receiving his Honorary Dogtorate.
(Daughter was not impressed with his accomplishment or my joke.)
Dear dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
dad
It’s textbook Economics.
I guess I should really get around to starting it.
My daughter is at university in another state. We occasionally text each other dad jokes. Last night she sent me a message: “send me more dad jokes, quick.” I hopped to it, racking my brain for anything new that I hadn’t already sent her recently. After a few moments she sent me: “we are doing a class project and during the down times I’m reading your jokes to the class, you have a fan base here” I was over the moon. A few moments later she sent me a video of her entire class saying, in chorus: “Thanks Nate’s Dad”. Completely chuffed. Thank you community, you not only entertain, you help connect.
So we named him Kilometers
I have a penpal from Spain I talk to a lot. Today we were chatting on Google Chat in English, and the topic of whether or not sea lions were dangerous came up.
Me: okay google says "sea lion saves man" has 976,000 results
Her: that man has sinked so many times
Edit: Bonus, she continued laughing at her own joke.
Her: hahahahaha
Her: i cant stop laughing
Her: it was so bad joke
Her: hahaha
in math we could not afford real numbers, so we had to use imaginary numbers.
Dad: I got an A on my essay!
Me: That's really good dad
Dad: Yea it's a good start, but what other letters should I use?
It's baffling.
"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.
"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."
First it was the Freshman-15, then the Covid-19.
That's how I got my first degree... burns
He’s very passionate about current events.
I told him he should go to a corner so he can get 90 degrees instead!
He’s a well read-neck.
does not actually control the universe.
(not even remotely)
Dear Dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
Well, this changes everything.
It’s textbook Economics.
This changes everything.
Dear dad,
University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, dad
It’s textbook economics.
H
This changes everything.
