My name is James Pond
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My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
My new horse’s name is Mayo.
My dog's name is holmes
So when I'm at work he's Holmes alone
Hello, my name is Richard, and I have a bad knee..
You can call me Limp Dick
Mom, why is my name Denephew?
My wife is constantly changing her name, but gets mad at me when I call her the new name.
Sometimes it's hungry, sometimes it's tired, sometimes it's angry. Please help.
My name is Nicholas,
But I'm unemployed, so you can call me nickle-less
My name is Lee and i have a son.
So my Uber driver's name is Adill
I really hope his driving doesn't get me into a pickle
My name is Jay and we are an Icelandish family. My wife and I could never come up with a name for our son.
My father’s name is Lee. My name is Riley.
As a kid, if I ever said the word “apparently”, he would interrupt to shout “A Son Riley!”
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
So my name is William
And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill?
Me: They call me both.
Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you.
I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.
My name is Joe. I'm a cup of me.
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
My name is ray
And if you all could stop tracing me that be great.
My name is Aaron. My son's name is Aaron too. Every morning, we go for a jog together.
When my wife asks where we went, I tell her we were just running Aarons.
My name is Tyler. Yesterday I got an email addressed to “Yler”. I pity the fool who makes a mistake like that.
My wife told me that her hairstylist's name is Rhoda.
"My name is History, and my name is History...
...Sorry, I tend to repeat myself."
My name is bond, double.....
There's a new rapper in my city, his name is dx.
I don't know man, seems to me like he's a little derivative.
My father-in-law (who's last name is Word) after a week of travel: Are you getting sick of the Word "family"?
Me: That's an odd word to get sick of.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
/r/Weekness/comments/erz6…
My girlfriend is a sheep farmer. When she starts to have orgasms, she wants me to shout the names of local movie showplaces.
She likes coming to a theater near ewe.
1 boy was named trouble and the other was called shutup. One day trouble got lost so shutup went to the police station and said ‘I lost my brother’. The police said ‘what is your name’ ‘shutup’ the police said ‘what did you say to me’ ‘shutup’. The police said ‘are you looking for trouble’ ‘yep’
"Hi my name is David and i lost my ID...
... I guess you can call me Dav now."
My dad’s name is Dick, a few years ago he had a stroke.
He goes around telling people he’s a self stroking Dick. True story.
Since my cat is getting old, I'm gonna start calling him by a new name
My five-year-old just asked me what my name is and I told him "You know what my name is."
He replied, "Your name is 'You know what my name is'?"
I've never been prouder.
My name is larious
Everyone texts me: Hi larious
I need help! I am co-captain of a team to raise money for cancer. My team needs a name. I need to mix some element of cancer with Alice in Wonderland. I need a pun, and I figured this subreddit is the best place to go. Thanks
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name...
I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize! Why would anyone pick on you?!"
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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