Mrs. Fields Puns

the Japanese Olympic Track and field team, in typical Asian make-every-thing-harder-to-do-than-it-has-to-be fashion have announced that hey are sticking by their regimen of only using malformed, decade-and-a-half old, equipment rigged to pop out of the course unexpectedly in order to secure their hopes of Olympic glory. While this may seem counter intuitive, Kadauo Osakamizu, a analyst for the team claims there is actually a historic cultural precedent for the odd exercises. In a quote, Mr. Osakamizu insists that the idea is that "if the team can excel with such sub-par materials, executing wins when the equipment is good should be of little concern."

So it seems that at least for the foreseeable future, Japan will be pinning their hopes on Teenage, Mutant, Ninja Hurdles.

Little Brother: Daddy, Mrs. Ham needs you to sign this so I can go on the field trip.

Dad: Mrs. Ham huh?

LB: Yeah, it's due on Friday.

Dad: Alright then but tell her she's lucky I don't eat pork.

My sister took my dad on a field trip. He was reading a list of parent volunteers and saw another dad was called Mr. Pickle. So of course he says, 'Wow, he must be a really big pickle!' The kids just stared at him and Mr. Pickle was behind him, very tall and giving him a scary look. My dad mumbles, '-it's for the kids.' This is why my sister doesn't take our parents on field trips.

When I was in grade school, we had a field day and I was told to bring some pylons to a teacher I didn't know.

I went up to a male teacher and asked him if he was Mr. Knott and he responded with, "I am Knott".

I was confused by the response for far too long.