A widow is mourning at her husband's grave site. A gentleman walks by and says "If you don't mind, I'd like to say a word."
"That would be nice" she said. "Plethora"..... "Thanks, that means a lot."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
What do you make a coffin with? Mourning wood.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
What do funeral directors eat for breakfast?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Mourning wood
π︎ 93
π
︎ Jun 22 2019
What do you say to a mourning pebble?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
His pyramid was βerectedβ many years ago
π︎ 28
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
π︎ 333
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I recently found out my wiener doesnβt work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since itβs pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Every October 31st, my dog begins baying loudly a loud, prolonged, mournful cry...
I guess he likes to celebrate Howloween...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
When is it appropriate to grieve?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
I hate how funerals are at 9am. I'm not really a mourning person.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 21 2018
Why do I always cry when I wake up?
Itβs too early in the mourning!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Pretty much speaks for itself
π︎ 34
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
I asked my dad are you still mourning the loss of mum.
He replied no, now I'm afternooning her loss.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Jul 24 2017
Wife said she was wearing black today because she was in mourning...
Me: What are you wearing in the afternoon?
Wife: :::blinks twice and walks away:::
π︎ 80
π
︎ Nov 09 2016
I got kicked out of a funeral for having an erection
Jeez, canβt a guy have mourning wood?
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 20 2020
Did you know it's not uncommon to get a boner at a funeral?
It's known as mourning wood
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 28 2020
Someone tried to invite me to a funeral at 5 AM
I am not a mourning person
π︎ 37
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
What do you call a sad but horny tree?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
this meme is fire
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
Why did the widow join a marathon?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
Why did the pregnant woman throw up at the funeral?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 12 2020
Those who cry professionally,
Give a whole new meaning to good mourning.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 17 2019
Recently, a race of bird people and a society of necromancers has gone to war.
It's the Knight owls Vs the Mourning people.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 05 2020
What do you call a forest at a funeral?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew
Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 10 2019
It's been a rough year. I've been to 3 funerals.
And I'm not a mourning person.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 22 2019
What happens when night dies?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
Daughter: I have to do a report on sinkholes. Me: Oh, well do you know the best kind of sinkhole?
π︎ 852
π
︎ May 07 2016
Know the difference
Morning wood:
An erection in the morning
Mourning Wood:
Rocket Racoon in Avengers Infinity war and Endgame
Know the difference
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 24 2019
Sometimes when Iβm sad I get an erection....
I call that my mourning wood.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Mar 24 2019
The day after our son died my wife came to me and said she felt like she wasnβt grieving properly and she felt bad.
The next day I woke up to her sobbing and I told her βgood mourning!β
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 03 2019
How do you greet someone at a funeral?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 01 2018
What does a necrophiliac get at an open casket funeral?
π︎ 33
π
︎ Dec 21 2018
We attended my sister's boyfriend's funeral at 9 A.M. yesterday, but she didn't seem very upset and didn't cry at all. I asked her why and she said,
She's not really a mourning person.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
What are caskets made of?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 19 2019
History lesson
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 10 2019
I donβt get sad when people die.
I guess Iβm not a mourning person.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 13 2019
Why did the man refuse to stand up at a funeral?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 17 2019
What do you make a coffin out of?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10 am
I'm really not a mourning person.
π︎ 495
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
I hate early-morning funerals.
I'm not really a mourning person.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?
π︎ 178
π
︎ Apr 24 2019
What would a boner at a funeral be called?
π︎ 75
π
︎ Feb 21 2019
I hate that funerals are always in the A.M.
I'm just not a mourning person
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
Funeral
I hate how funerals are at 9am or 10 am.
I'm not a mourning person
π︎ 141
π
︎ Apr 14 2017
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
