Mount Skittle Puns

Howdy, gang!

It's been a while since I have done one of these, but alas, here we are!

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Limited Operations & Shipping Delays
For the first time since we opened the sweatshop, I stepped out for three days to train. I have since been invited back for a follow-up course. This class is roughly 96 hours over the span of six days, from Monday to Saturday the 15th.

All non-FFL orders that were placed before today will be packed today and dropped off with USPS/UPS this coming Monday, the 10th.

All new orders placed from today onward will be delayed and ship on Monday the 17th. I will largely be unavailable through most communication channels, but will bring a laptop to answer customer service emails once a night. If you have an urgent inquiry, please email me directly at info@rooftopdefense.com :)

I also just want to thank all of you for being the best customers in the world! Thank you for making training a possibility and our dream a reality.

We appreciate you, your patience and continued support!

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Product Updates

Aimpoint
We have a tiny batch of five ACRO P2s arriving next week. However, due to being absent for training, the absolute soonest these will drop will be Saturday the 15th. Our rep said that if Sweden sends larger shipments, we will start to see much, much larger shipments arriving for us to sell you guys.

EOTech
We received a fairly large shipment of tan EXPS3-0 and G45 5x magnifiers. These are on the site and eligible for the usual promo codes.

Daniel Defense
DD announced their price increase along with everybody else. We still have inventory that was ordered under the old price structure. We have raised the prices on their products, but have adjusted the coupons to reflect the old pricing. Once this inventory is sold, these prices are never coming back. Code 'slimjim' works on the M4V7 and M4V7 Pro rifles, code 'skittles' works on the M4V7 upper receiver groups.

LMT
We have some Estonian reference rifles that will hit the site after next weekend as well as some M2 training bolt carrier groups. These BCGs work only with Simunition, and not Speer Force-on-Force training ammunition. No ETA for anything else.

FN

• SRP G2 rifles on the site, code 'jiraiya' does good things

Centurion Arms

• [16" Lightweight hammer-forged barrels are on hand

The Upcoming ALDI Finds Ad for 01/12/22 - 01/18/22 is now available. The ad actually starts three days earlier in some stores. A list of items in each category is included below.

Bold denotes items that are new since the corresponding Aldi Finds Sneak Peek ad was published.

• Home Goods
  • Easy Home Compartment Organizer - $12.99 (each)
  • Huntington Home 10.5-Gallon Stainless Steel Trash Can - $34.99 (each)
  • Huntington Home 24" x 60" Woven Runner - $9.99 (each)
  • Huntington Home 18" x 30" Soho Mat - $6.99 (each)
  • Huntington Home Canvas Totes - $7.99 (each)
• Sports & Outdoor Activities
  • Crane Men's or Ladies' Cross Trainers - $12.99 (each)
  • Crane Fitness Band Assortment - $5.99 (each)
  • Crane Sit-Up Bench with Exercise Bands - $49.99 (1 ea.)
  • Crane Sauna Vest or Waist Trimmer - $9.99 (each) - Present in the sneak peek ad but missing here
• Electronics
  • iTOUCH Smart Watch - $49.99 (each)
• Automotive
  • Atomi Qi Wireless Vent Mount Car Charger **- $19.99 (each)

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.