Miss America Puns

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

Walking in the mall with my girlfriend, about to pass a Build-A-Bear. They have a promotion for Captain America clothes with your bear.

> Me: I feel like they missed out on an opportunity here. They should have called that the Captain Abearica.

> Girlfriend: God damnit.

So I work at Dick's sporting goods, at the flagship store meaning that we are the largest store in the United States. Had a guy come in, clearly impressed with the store. I proceeded to tell him how we were the largest store around. Without missing a beat he replied "So how's it feel to be working for the biggest Dick's in America"