My teenage son wants me to start paying him to do his homework, clean his room, and come home before midnight.

But I don’t see why I should pay him for being good. When I was his age I was good for nothing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/we_are_sex_bobomb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2021
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My son told me this morning that he forgot to get me up at midnight....

I asked "Why?"
He replied: "because, I was supposed to β™« wake you up, when september ends β™«"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmooney28
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
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My ten-year-old son: Dad, did you hear about the barn party after midnight that was getting out of hand?...

... Finally the sheep yells, stop horsing around, I’m trying to sheep. - Love this kid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRipley1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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My son high-fived me for this one...

Counting down to midnight on New Year's Eve, my wife announced to the room to get ready to make a toast to the new year. I asked her if she remembered to bring the bread.

She looked at me puzzled for a second. "Bread?" she asked.

"Yeah, for the toast!" I said.

Her eyes rolled hard. My 15-year-old son laughed hard and told me, "Good one!" before giving me a high-five on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeaconPlayback
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2016
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