On the mark with that pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Few_Eye6528
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2021
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Yesterday I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 211
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2021
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On your marks…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 78
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2021
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What does Mark Zuckerberg listen to?

Heavy meta

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/orderoffries32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2021
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What do you call a tick mark by a Roman?

Romantic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wisd_Om
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2021
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I always mark with a cross in mock tests while my friend Polly... Well...

Politics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wisd_Om
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2021
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Dan Mark must be a swell guy

They named an entire country after him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2021
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Dave hands Mark his 50th birthday card

Mark says "One would've been enough"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AikoIsOnReddit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2021
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What's a prisoner's favourite punctuation mark?

It's period because it marks the end of a sentence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Different_Dig_7416
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2021
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Why are Mark's friends so good at shooting?

Because they're Marksmen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mean-Mango-7125
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2021
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What did Mark Twain name his kid?

Choo Choo Twain

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordOkagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2021
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Why didn’t pirates mark their treasure with an X instead of 404

Then when they came back they would know that their treasure wasn’t found

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IsaacClew
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2021
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Why don't people in Afghanistan count using tick marks?

Because there's a tally ban.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 93
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/explosivelydehiscent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2021
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Full marks....A+
πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2021
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Why did Mark tell his jokes only at the end of the evening?

He saved the best for laughs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hurtkopain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2021
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I’ve decided to name my son Mark.

That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 885
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/legalize-crack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2021
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Mark Knopfler went to the guitar shop the other day

He bought some dear strats.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpeedyMerchant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2021
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How could Pterodactyls so stealthily mark their territory?

Because the p is silent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lion_OBrian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2021
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Today my daughter asked me, β€œCan I have a book mark?”

After all these years she still doesn’t know my name is Dennis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iAmAGoodPerson2021
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2021
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Mark my words: autocorrect will make fools of us all

Sober or later

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nadderby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2021
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DID YOU REALLY THINK THIS MEME SAYS 'THINK MARK THINK' MARK? THINK MARK!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Soul_M
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2021
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I was making country puns DENMARK, one of my friends, all of SWEDEN started RUSSIAN into my talk , Mark yelled, β€œUGANDA be kidding me what are you GHANA do with these puns?” IRAN out of patience and said KENYA please shutup and be KUWAIT. ?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saytvn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2021
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Did you hear about the punctuation marks who were often found in the same sentence and so became close friends?

There was a genuine comma-raderie amongst them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2021
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Sometimes I tell myself β€œmark don’t eat to much chocolate for breakfast.”

But then I do it anyways cause, my name’s not mark.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zayan-ali
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2021
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What do you call Mark Zuckerberg in a bikini?

A zucchini.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 86
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ElbowStromboli
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2021
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I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."

She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fukface_Von_Clwnstik
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2021
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I received an email where someone made some comments about a group of people called Mark. The subject? ...

Re: Marks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pseudosecure
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2021
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Just a hare off the mark
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...

11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/csgo_Kriptonas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2020
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Watermarky Mark.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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Just saw Mark Knopfler walking down the Road...

He was carrying a 19th century French masterpiece under his arm and a cage with 2 baby birds in his hand.

I asked how much they were and he said, "I got my Monet for nothing and the Chicks for free".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war

He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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That’s gonna leave a mark...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kyledreeling10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2020
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Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant

He's calling it Wok of Life

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/canyonstom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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If Mark has been accused of plagiarizing my content; Mark!? My words.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HowToFailAndWhy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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Why is Mark Zuckerberg better than Tim Cook?

He is more Zuckccessful

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sovv081
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
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A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/edhere
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2017
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He has a one track mind. Mark Twain is his father.

His name is.....

Choo choo Twain!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.

Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redditwhilestoned
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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β€œMark my words”

Mark brings me my dictionary. β€œThank you, Mark”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stevekimes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2021
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My son asked if he could have a book mark

I broke down crying. Its been 15 years and he still doesn't know my name is jack!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2021
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I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 72
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 360
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 44k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ebkbk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2018
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Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant

He's calling it Wok of Life

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/canyonstom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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Oh hi Mark

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/inviktusmaneo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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I confronted my friend Mark because he refuses to return my dictionary.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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I was really mad at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary.

I said, β€œMark, my words!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
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