On the mark with that pun
Yesterday I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
What does Mark Zuckerberg listen to?
What do you call a tick mark by a Roman?
I always mark with a cross in mock tests while my friend Polly... Well...
Dan Mark must be a swell guy
Dave hands Mark his 50th birthday card
Mark says "One would've been enough"
What's a prisoner's favourite punctuation mark?
It's period because it marks the end of a sentence
Why are Mark's friends so good at shooting?
Because they're Marksmen.
What did Mark Twain name his kid?
Why didn’t pirates mark their treasure with an X instead of 404
Then when they came back they would know that their treasure wasn’t found
Why don't people in Afghanistan count using tick marks?
Because there's a tally ban.
Why did Mark tell his jokes only at the end of the evening?
He saved the best for laughs.
I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
Mark Knopfler went to the guitar shop the other day
He bought some dear strats.
How could Pterodactyls so stealthily mark their territory?
Today my daughter asked me, “Can I have a book mark?”
After all these years she still doesn’t know my name is Dennis.
Mark my words: autocorrect will make fools of us all
DID YOU REALLY THINK THIS MEME SAYS 'THINK MARK THINK' MARK? THINK MARK!
I was making country puns DENMARK, one of my friends, all of SWEDEN started RUSSIAN into my talk , Mark yelled, “UGANDA be kidding me what are you GHANA do with these puns?” IRAN out of patience and said KENYA please shutup and be KUWAIT. ?
Did you hear about the punctuation marks who were often found in the same sentence and so became close friends?
There was a genuine comma-raderie amongst them.
Sometimes I tell myself “mark don’t eat to much chocolate for breakfast.”
But then I do it anyways cause, my name’s not mark.
What do you call Mark Zuckerberg in a bikini?
I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."
She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."
I received an email where someone made some comments about a group of people called Mark. The subject? ...
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears...
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Just saw Mark Knopfler walking down the Road...
He was carrying a 19th century French masterpiece under his arm and a cage with 2 baby birds in his hand.
I asked how much they were and he said, "I got my Monet for nothing and the Chicks for free".
Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war
He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had
That’s gonna leave a mark...
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life
If Mark has been accused of plagiarizing my content; Mark!? My words.
Why is Mark Zuckerberg better than Tim Cook?
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks “What are you counting?”
And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”
Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:
He has a one track mind. Mark Twain is his father.
His name is.....
Choo choo Twain!
My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
“Mark my words”
Mark brings me my dictionary.
“Thank you, Mark”
My son asked if he could have a book mark
I broke down crying. Its been 15 years and he still doesn't know my name is jack!
I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life
Oh hi Mark
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
I confronted my friend Mark because he refuses to return my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
I was really mad at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
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