A mother is opening the mail at home one night. She began adamantly reminding him they were out of baby powder as sheβs tearing into their bank statement. When she sees it, she marches to the father sitting in his chair and says βWhat is this $730.88 spent at the Treasure Chest, Donny?!β
All he said was βI donβt know what youβre talcum βbout.β
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︎ Jul 28 2018
He is right there...
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︎ May 12 2021
In honor of Motherβs Day, Iβd just like to say,
βthank you for your cervix.β
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︎ May 09 2021
Does February March.?
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︎ May 19 2021
The man stood up after a rousing speech, took a bow and marched out triumphantly.
He was protesting against violins in schools.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
March first
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︎ Feb 28 2021
What did may say to March after being accused
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︎ Apr 06 2021
Today is the day I can post it
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︎ Mar 02 2021
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︎ Mar 16 2021
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Happy Parade Day! March Fourth!
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︎ Mar 04 2021
I make podiums. So I always save my most special podium for March 20th...
It's the first dais of Spring!
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︎ Mar 20 2021
March Madness from my 3 year old
How did you know the basketball game was in trouble?
Because it was in timeout!
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Commemorating a late Ides of March
Was Julius Cesar the first Holey Roman emperor?
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Today is the Ides of March, when Caesar was famously assassinated. But what most people don't know is that he wasn't stabbed, but poisoned, by Hemlock leaves in his salad - hence the name "Caesar's Salad." When Brutus asked how many Hemlock leaves Caesar ingested, Caesar said:
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What follows March 1st?
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I ordered a Caesar salad from the restaurant for lunch today.
They absolutely killed it.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
March 1st
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︎ Sep 15 2020
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. Cashier asked " How long would you like them"
From march to September said the man
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︎ May 21 2021
What song do you sing when you step on ants?
Dead ant, dead ant. Dead ant dead ant dead ant, dead ant dead annnnttt, dead-ant-dead-ant-dead-ant
(Tune of Pink panther theme)
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︎ Apr 10 2021
A man asks a woman: "when is your birthday?". To which the girl replies: "March 1st"
Man : *immediately starts marching around the room and says "so can you tell me now?"
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︎ Sep 11 2020
What do you call a line of rabbits marching backward?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Whatβs a footβs favorite month?
Whatβs a footβs favorite month?
March
My six-year-old son made that up.
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︎ Mar 07 2021
March 30th is world bipolar day
I donβt know how I feel about this
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︎ Jul 13 2020
Columbia University Marching Band shuts itself down.
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︎ Sep 16 2020
Just some puns
1: I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
2: Can February March? No, but April May.
3: I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
4: Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
5: Β I made a pun about the wind but it blows.
6: I canβt believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
7: What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee!
8: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
9: I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii
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︎ Mar 25 2021
A prisoner joined a convent and wanted to be a part of their marching band. What instrument did she decide to play?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What's the one month all soldiers hate?
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︎ Nov 11 2020
It's hard to believe March 12th is already National Pancake Day!
It really crΓͺped up on us this year didn't it!
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︎ Mar 05 2019
For whom the belt holes
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︎ Sep 14 2019
I do what I hear.
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︎ Jun 05 2020
A starving tribe marched their way to the desert to get food
because of the sand which is there.
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︎ Jul 25 2020
What day does a soldier hate?
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I asked a friend when's her birthday. She told me: 'March 1st'.
So I started marching and asked her again.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Why does Cinderella go extra crazy with her spring cleaning?
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︎ Mar 30 2021
I know what I have to do today.
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︎ Mar 04 2021
He is right there...
π︎ 4k
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︎ May 12 2020
Why were the ants enthusiastic about next month?
They had to MARCH into April.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Can February March?
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︎ May 16 2021
Can February march?
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︎ May 03 2021
Can February March
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Can February march?
π︎ 25
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︎ Feb 10 2021
Can February March?
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Can February March?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Can February March?
π︎ 239
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Can February March?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Can February March?
π︎ 88
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︎ Aug 27 2020
Can February March ?
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Can February march?
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 01 2020
What do you call 100 rabbits in a single file line marching backwards?
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︎ May 01 2020
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