Malagasy hippopotamus Puns

Mocking me, eh? want to see how this book goes in your face? here is the title " The historical development of the Heart i.e. from its formation from Annelida: Clam worm, Seamouse, Lugworm, Megascolex, Tubifex, Pheretima, Freshwater leech, marine leech, land leech. Arthropoda: Ladybird, Krill, Rock Barnacle, Root-headed Barnacle, Copepod, Silverfish, Cairns birdwing, Silver - spotted skipper, Scutigera, Cray fish, Large white, Andonis blue, Camberwell beauty, Tiger swallowtail, Regent skipper, Black – veined white, Green – underside blue, Blue Morpho, Apollo, Guava skipper, Cleopatra, Large copper, Millipede, Orb spider, Black widow spider, Giant crab spider, Wolf spider, Bird – eating spider, Tenebrionid beetle, Green Tiger beetle, African goliath beetle, Scolopendra, Diving beetle, African ground beetle, New guinea weevil, Barnacle, Lobster, Shrimp, Woodlice, Mite, Prawn, Housefly, Butterfly, Monarch butterfly, Peacock butterfly, Honey bee, Fairy shrimp, Horsehoe crab, Tick, Bluebootle, Froghopper, Yellow crazy ant, Water flea, Sea spider, Fiddler crab, Shiny spider crab, Hermit crab, Sail swallowtail, Red admiral, Morpho butterfly, Desert locust, Stephens island weta, Speckled bush cricket, Mole cricket, Dung – beetle, Euthalia ynipardus, Small blues, Termite, Hornet, Mosquito, Garden spider, Tarantula, Desert hairy scorpion, Emperor dragon – fly, Moth, Centipede, Wood ant, Stag beetle, Indian red admiral, Blue admiral, Harvestman, Hoverfly, Shield bug, Assassin bug, Cicada, Coreid bug, Rose aphid, Water – boatman, Wasp, June bug, Large tortoiseshell, Frog beetle, Mexican red – legged tarantula, Paintedlady, Sydney funnelweb spider, Small tortoiseshell, Mountain bumble bee, Trapdoor spider, Jumping spider, Daddy longlegs spider, Orchind bee, Asian carpenter bee, Parasitic bee, House spider, Giant longhorn beetle, Flea, Bedbug Beetle, Cockroach, Scorpion, Spider, Ant, Gnats, Grasshopper, Silver fish, Crab, Great green bush cricket, Elephant hawk – moth. Mollusca: Neomenia, Chaetoderma, Chiton, Lepidopleurus, Apple snail, Sea hare, Sea lemon, Dentalium, Freshwater mussel, Marine mussel, Pearl oyster, Cuttlefish, Giant squid, Chambered fish, Devilfish. Fishes or Pisces: African glass catfish, African lungfish, Aholehole, Airbreathing catfish, Alaska blackfish, Albacore, Alewife, Alfonsino, Algae eater, Alligatorfish, Alligator gar, Amberjack - Seriola dumerili, American sole, Amur pike, Anchovy, Anemonefish, Angelfish, Angler, Angler catfish, Anglerfish, A

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I guess the concept didn't work

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

He lost May

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

[removed]

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

to save the mods time here is the source: Guinness World Records

According to Guinness the book is called: (and yes i did copy and paste the entire title)

'The historical development of the Heart i.e. from its formation from Annelida: Clam worm, Seamouse, Lugworm, Megascolex, Tubifex, Pheretima, Freshwater leech, marine leech, land leech. Arthropoda: Ladybird, Krill, Rock Barnacle, Root-headed Barnacle, Copepod, Silverfish, Cairns birdwing, Silver - spotted skipper, Scutigera, Cray fish, Large white, Andonis blue, Camberwell beauty, Tiger swallowtail, Regent skipper, Black – veined white, Green – underside blue, Blue Morpho, Apollo, Guava skipper, Cleopatra, Large copper, Millipede, Orb spider, Black widow spider, Giant crab spider, Wolf spider, Bird – eating spider, Tenebrionid beetle, Green Tiger beetle, African goliath beetle, Scolopendra, Diving beetle, African ground beetle, New guinea weevil, Barnacle, Lobster, Shrimp, Woodlice, Mite, Prawn, Housefly, Butterfly, Monarch butterfly, Peacock butterfly, Honey bee, Fairy shrimp, Horsehoe crab, Tick, Bluebootle, Froghopper, Yellow crazy ant, Water flea, Sea spider, Fiddler crab, Shiny spider crab, Hermit crab, Sail swallowtail, Red admiral, Morpho butterfly, Desert locust, Stephens island weta, Speckled bush cricket, Mole cricket, Dung – beetle, Euthalia ynipardus, Small blues, Termite, Hornet, Mosquito, Garden spider, Tarantula, Desert hairy scorpion, Emperor dragon – fly, Moth, Centipede, Wood ant, Stag beetle, Indian red admiral, Blue admiral, Harvestman, Hoverfly, Shield bug, Assassin bug, Cicada, Coreid bug, Rose aphid, Water – boatman, Wasp, June bug, Large tortoiseshell, Frog beetle, Mexican red – legged tarantula, Paintedlady, Sydney funnelweb spider, Small tortoiseshell, Mountain bumble bee, Trapdoor spider, Jumping spider, Daddy longlegs spider, Orchind bee, Asian carpenter bee, Parasitic bee, House spider, Giant longhorn beetle, Flea, Bedbug Beetle, Cockroach, Scorpion, Spider, Ant, Gnats, Grasshopper, Silver fish, Crab, Great green bush cricket, Elephant hawk – moth. Mollusca: Neomenia, Chaetoderma, Chiton, Lepidopleurus, Apple snail, Sea hare, Sea lemon, Dentalium, Freshwater mussel, Marine mussel, Pearl oyster, Cuttlefish, Giant squid, Chambered fish, Devilfish. Fishes or Pisces: African glass catfish, African lungfish, Aholeh

BamBOO!