I asked the barber to replace most of what the last barber did, make it three times longer, and give it three parts.

He said β€œoh, you want the Snyder Cut”.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A bell gets hired to make a film, in which part does it appear?

In the en...ding

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riccardo_00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm making a new documentary series on how to fly an aeroplane

We're currently filming the pilot

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
One of the most underrated animated films ever
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/punnettome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Friend at the pub says: if they ever make a film on Oscar Pistorius, it shouldn't be called 'Bladerunner', it should be called....

Taking the Pisstorius.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ionised
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Need Theme Park related puns

Myself and a friend are making a mini action film on GTA V. When I edit it, I’m planning on involving some voiceover but I need a pun for the final kill on the rollercoaster. Any suggestions ?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StickyWeeee9068
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
BBC have stopped filming Eastenders...

It just goes to prove that you can't make a drama out of a crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andyginn12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Punning replaced my old past-time.

I used to be a film photographer but learned it was a negative hobby.

One that lens itself to bad puns.

The kind that make you shutter.

I have proof.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.

Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.

Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.

Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.

Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.

While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".

When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Collection of dadness

I am not a dad at the moment, but I've learned the art of pretty clever puns in college. Some are mine, some are spins on inspirations, others are more on the joke side of dad.

What does a radioactive cat have?
18 half-lives

Ventriloquists are like psychiatrists, they both talk through things.

What is my vision?
To make the world 10% better?
No, it's about 20/20...

The invention of the shovel was truly a groundbreaking discovery.

Dad: I invested in some uranium, but I lost money.
Friend: What happened?
Dad: The Profit decayed.

We have received a report of a hole being discovered in the ground, our investigative team is looking into it.

There was an explosion at a local film manufacturing company, the story is still developing as we speak.

A local theater put together an act about jokes.
It was a play on words

SΓΈ, I hΓͺΓ‘rd yΓΆΕ« lΓ¬kΓ« fΓΆrΓ©igΓ± aΓ§Δ‡Δ“Ε„tΕ‘

As an airline mechanic would say, the job has lots of ups and downs.

My New Years resolution will probably be 25 megapixels, or 4K, not sure yet...

There was a river in Egypt no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Dad-Epitaph:
I thought I'd never live to see this day come.

There are two things that are guaranteed to open doors in life.
Push and Pull!

(How to keep an idiot in suspense)
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A man builds robotic snakes for a living, I guess you could say he was a... python programmer!

A researcher's obsession with mixing stone, sand, lime, and water has yielded concrete results.

A madman once attacked a rider on his horse.
The rider had to goto hospital, the horse remains in stable condition.

A man bought a paper shop, it blew away in the wind last night.

Science is all about learning the rules, setting off an absurd amount of explosives, and then writing down what happened.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

Dad: Did you pick up your room?
Kid: No, I tried but it's too heavy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.