I decided to honour my son with a military rank, but my wife did not agree with me.

Apparently Major disappointment is not a very good name, according to her.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mad_Comics
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2023
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My girlfriend's a pyromaniac and so am I

She's the perfect match

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tired_pizzacat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2023
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What was the name of David Bowie's brother born with no arms?

Noel Bowie

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lahjaton
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2022
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Did you know that Pavlov not only discovered classical conditioning, but also started a large charitable organization?

The salivation army!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riverrat423
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2022
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Found out my wife was cheating on me while she was out last night.

She said I’ll be home 10-15 mins, Max.

My name is Luke.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Focus_Salt
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2022
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Did you hear about the award winning pickle?

It was a big dill....

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orangebowl_jad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2022
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What’s the rallying cry of that new sect of Christianity based around fermented milk?

Cheese is Christ!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2022
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You think it’s funny when your nose is runny

But it’s snot

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwilson1410
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2022
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Tables turned

We got a new dog. We named him Jesus, and he gets loose often. Occasionally I'll knock on my Mormon neighbors door just to ask if they've found Jesus.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2022
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Need help coming up with literary puns

I just bought a new car and a need help coming up with a punny name for it. My Honda Civic Hatchback was the "Hatchback of Notre Dame", to give you an idea of what I'm looking for. But I'm stumped when it comes to a similar kind of name for my red Mustang Mach-E. The best I got is "To Kill a Mach-E Bird", but that's hardly a name.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2022
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I'm creating a knockoff brand motorcycle

I'm naming it Hardley-Davidson

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumbleFundle
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2022
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Is your butt broken?

It has a crack in it!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zappavishnu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2022
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Best Liam Neeson pun

Liam Neeson is a huge movie star. He is so busy filming and traveling that he rarely checks his correspondence. One day, he goes to the post office so he can receive all his letters and a mailman asks him to sign a check out sheet. As Liam reads the paper, he notices something odd: right next to his name, the mailman wrote his name backwards. When asking why, the mailman replies: "it's not your name, sir, it's just that since you rarely come here, you haven't seen your mail before and I just wrote it down as a note".

And he was right, for Liam Neeson had "no seeN maiL".

The end.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsVigil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
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