My wife says I'm the cheapest man in the world.

I'm not buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2040009
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a book about a world without gravity...

It’s impossible to put it down.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TFeyner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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I’m telling my 5yr old about the wonderful world of literature and she says it sounds boring. I responded with

But... it’s lit! Hits the dad dab

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coloredboyadvance
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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I travel all over the world and I'm regular, then I come home and suddenly I'm incontinent.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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With so much madness in the world today, I'm trying hard to Compose myself...

But I'm going to need a minuet to get a Handel on things, so please Holst on. There's no Haydn from reality, even if I can't stanza much more. I'm guessing the current madness originated in Britten - possibly during the Brahms age. Alas, I'm so Bizet writing my Chopin Liszt I will have to get Bach to you later when I'm Abel to compose my thoughts on how to overcome. GRRRRR.... I keep forgetting to purchase rainbow Schubert and must write that down. I also have to fix my microwave which Baroque earlier today when my son tried to Satie some vegetables. I do wish he would've refrained. Oh, I still have to go to the Barber as well. But, I digress... Once the madness calms down I hope y'all can Ravel in the moment. If you don't understand it, though, that's okay - it's all Grieg to me and I don't want to cause y'all any additional Strauss.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Found out I'm the worst plumber/electrician in the world when I rewired the toilet.

It was a massive shock to the cistern.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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I'm not brave enough to discover new things in the real world, so I decided to be an Internet Explorer instead.

Sadly even that was to Edge-y for me!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Can I play World War Z without having played World War A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X and Y before? /r/ShouldIbuythisgame/com…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonaSavage17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I'm the best Assistant DJ in the entire world....

In fact, I hold the record!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I'm about to make the world's largest omelette

Best get cracking

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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I'm entering into the world's tightest hat competition

I hope I can pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanglimara19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and although I’m not sure whether it’s the best in the world...

...It’s definitely up there.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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I’m a bit uneducated. Whenever the World Health Organization is in the news…

I gotta ask β€œWHO?”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deceze
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m so poor, I can’t go see the world. The best that I can do...

...is visiting Amazon while on Safari.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm organising a funeral for the world's fattest man

That's a big undertaking

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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I’m gonna start doing push-ups, I’m tired of this world pushing me around
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tru-Queer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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I’m off to see the World’s biggest gland.

England!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HALsaysSorry
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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Everybody keeps telling me I’m the world’s worst mailman.

Shit... I was planning to post this somewhere else.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm still not quite sure I get all the hype about the World Cup...
πŸ‘︎ 309
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tynnyfer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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I’m the second best fighter in the world.

I’ve come second in every fight I’ve ever been in.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aDamnedCanadian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm watching the World Cup

Not because I enjoy soccer. I’m just doing it for the kicks.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murphy223
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife says I’m the cheapest man in the world.

I’m not buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waddoheck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife says I'm the cheapest man in the world...

I'm not buying it

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleeteater
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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