Lytton Strachey Puns

This was originally posted in r/literature, and redirected here upon suggestion.

Recently read and greatly enjoyed "Eminent Victorians": it left me with an appetite for other works of a similar, deliciously ironic bent. I've read Austen and Gibbon (to the latter of whom Strachey seems rather indebted), and am wondering whether there are any other non-/fictional works, of any period, which folks here have found to be as enjoyably sardonic in tone as Strachey's biography and can recommend to satisfy this craving?

There is a story about the Bloomsbury Group writer Lytton Strachey who was a 'confirmed bachelor', as they used to put it. He was also a conscientious objector and a pacifist. He appeared before the conscientious objection board. It was their job to quiz him on whether he actually was a true pacifist or just a coward trying to get out of serving.

They said: „Mr Strachey, are you married?“

„No, I am not.“

„Well then, do you have a sister?“

„Yes, I do have sister“, said Strachey.

„Well Mr Strachey, suppose a German soldier came and tried to r*pe her. What would you do?“

„In that case“, Strachey replied, „I would endeavour to place myself between them.“

Although I've seen the odd mention of the Bill Homewood version of Count of Monte Cristo and the Juliet Stevenson version of Middlemarch on here, I'd be interested in hearing which other of the classics on Naxos Audiobooks come especially recommended.

Also, while I don't know if these prices are similar in other countries, there are many Whispersync deals on Audible Australia. I haven't seen a list of them, so I made one here:

• Augustine: The City of God, 46 hrs, 23 min [Mark Meadows] $2.97 + $2.99.
• Marcus Aurelius: Meditations, 5 hrs, 9 min [Duncan Steen] $3.79 + $2.99.
• Jane Austen: Mansfield Park, 16 hrs, 50 min [Juliet Stevenson] $4.94 + $2.99.
• Jane Austen: Northanger Abbey, 8 hrs, 17 min [Juliet Stevenson] $0.00 + $2.99.
• Jane Austen: Persuasion, 8 hrs, 43 min [Juliet Stevenson] $0.00 + $2.99.
• Jane Austen: Sense and Sensibility, 12 hrs, 43 min [Juliet Stevenson] $0.00 + $2.99.
• Honoré de Balzac: Cousin Bette, 16 hr, 5 min [Lucy Scott] $4.96 + $3.49.
• Honoré de Balzac: Father Goriot, 12 hrs [Bill Homewood] $1.30 + $2.99.
• Mary Elizabeth Braddon: Lady Audley's Secret, 15 hrs, 18 min [Kim Hicks] $0.00 + $2.99.
• Anne Brontë: Agnes Grey, 7 hrs, 33 min [Rachel Bavidge] $1.64 + $4.49.
• Anne Brontë: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, 20 hrs, 28 min [Katy Carmichael] $1.09 + $4.49.
• Charlotte Brontë: Jane Eyre, 20 hrs, 33 min [Amanda Root] $4.05 + $2.99.
• Charlotte Brontë: Shirley, 23 hrs, 44 min [Georgina Sutton] $0.00 + $2.99.
• Charlotte Brontë: Villette, 20 hrs, 3 min [Mandy Weston] $1.38 + $2.99.
• Emily Brontë: Wuthering Heights, 13 hrs, 8 min [Janet McTeer] $3.99 + $2.99.
• John Bunyan: The Pilgrim's Progress, 12 hrs, 3 min [David Shaw-Parker] $3.99 + $2.99.
• Fanny Burney: Camilla, 37 hr, 28 min [Lucy Scott] $1.13 + $2.99.
• Willa Cather: My Antonia, 9 hrs 15 min [Robert G. Slade] $4.52 + $2.99.
• Miguel de Cervantes: Don Quixote, 36 hr, 5 min [Roy McMillan] $4.39 + $2.99.
• John Cleland: Fanny Hill, 9 hrs, 13 min [Clare Corbett] $4.39 + $2.99.
• Wilkie Collins: The Moonstone, 22 hr, 26 min [Ronald Pickup et al.] $4.39 + $2.99.
• Wilkie Collins: The Woman in White, 27 hr, 59 min [Glen McCready and Rachel Bavidge] $2.56 + $2.99.
• James Fenimore Cooper: The Last of the Mohicans, 16 hrs, 51 min [William Hope] $0.00 + $2.99.
• Daniel Defoe: Moll Flanders, 12 hrs, 24 min [Georgina Sutton] $0.00 + $2.99.
• Daniel Defoe: Robinson Crusoe, 11 hrs, 27 min [Andrew Culluam] $0.99 + $2.99.
• C

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.