Lunar sortie Puns

whew… sorry this took longer than hoped but the rest will probably be in erratic intervals due to…. stuff. anyway, here is everyone’s favorite grey ghost, lucky e, the one and only cover girl for azur lane: enterprise’s romanized voice lines (every single one of em). i apologize for any mistakes as i am past my expiration time. now that’s out of the way time to go to bed~

self introduction: I am the Yorktown class aircraft carrier, Enterprise. "Grey Ghost" is one of the many nicknames I have. My smoke-covered and bloodstained battle record is a reminder of my mission. I will continue to be victorious until the war ends. romaji: Watashi wa yōkutaun-gata kōkū bokan no entāpuraizu. Gureigōsuto wa watashi ga motsu kazuōku no imyō no naka no hitotsuda. Kono shōen to senketsu no senreki koso waga shimei no akashi. Korekara mo tatakai no hate made kachi tsudzukete miseru

receive: Second ship of the Yorktown class, Enterprise, reporting for duty. I will neither sympathize nor hold back with my enemies, and instead, I go all out. Such is my way. romaji: Yōkutaun-gata ni-ban-kan entāpuraizu, chakunin shita. Teki ni wa dōjō mo tekagen mo sezu, itsu demo zenryoku de mukaeutsu tsumorida. Kore koso watashi no ryūgida

Login: You've come. If it's fighting, I'm ready for it any time. romaji: Kitaka. Sentō junbinara, itsu demode kite iru zo

View details: Want to look at my medal collection? romaji: Watashi no kunshō korekushon mo mite miru ka?

Main screen 1: Is it you, Commander? ...Recently, I'm thinking about whether or not I can engage in anti-submarine actions... romaji: Shiki-kan ka?…… Saikin, jibun ga taisensen mo dekiru n janai ka to omoi hajimetaga

Main screen 2: Luck is also a part of strength? Then if possible, I'd like to impart some of it to my older sister.. romaji: Un mo jitsuryoku no uchi? Dekireba sukoshi ane ni mo wakete agetai monoda na

Main screen 3: So long as we live, there are things that will never go our way. When we die, it must happen in a way that carries no regrets. romaji: Ikite iru kagiri, omoidōri ni naranai koto wa ikurademo aru. Shi ni yukunara kui o nokosanai yō ni shitai monoda

Normal touch: What is it? Sortie time? romaji: Nanda, shutsugeki ka?

Special Touch: What the...?! romaji: Na……!!

Mission reminder: Commander, your missions are not yet completed. Hurry up and set off! romaji: Shiki-kan yo. Misshon ga mada owatte inai zo. Hayaku shuppatsu suru noda

Mission complete: Commander, the rewards are here. romaji: Shiki-kan,

Faction:

United Nations Space Alliance/Solar Associated Treaty Organization

Class:

Tigris-class destroyer (real class name is never specified)

Background:

The UNSA Tigris was a Tigris-class destroyer under the control of the United Nations Space Alliance and it's military arm, the Solar Associated Treaty Organization. Her main armament consisted of five twin barrel main gun turrets, and 20 vertical launch missile banks. She also had an internal hangar for deploying SATO Marine forces via Raven dropships. Like other military ships, she possessed a Drop Engine for FTL travel.

Tigris was present for the Fleet Week Parade when the Settlement Defense Front launched it's surprise attack. Alongside Retribution, she would be the only other vessel not destroyed or crippled by the SDF. She would immediately assist Retribution in fending off an SDF assault on the Lunar Gateway moon base. Her most notable action in the battle would be the destruction of the Defense Front carrier Ares Vallis. Afterwards, she would be assigned to patrol UNSA space whilst the Retribution launched attacks on Defense Front assets throughout the Solar System. She would later rescue Retribution's acting captain over Titan after the Olympus Mons dreadnought had forced Retribution to retreat. Tigris sadly would fall to an ambush by the Olympus Mons, being lost with all hands, leaving the Retribution as the only SATO ship still combat worthy.

Namesake:

Tigris is named after the River Tigris in modern day Iraq, defining the region of ancient Mesopotamia.

Stat spread:

Tigris' stats line up mostly with late war/post-war destroyers, albeit with increased firepower from her missiles, and maneuverability thanks to her atmospheric and space capabilities.

Rarity:

SR

Abilities:

• Tip of the Spear: When activated, gain 20% to ATK.
• Drop Engine: Buff Evasion at the cost of 5% health for each use

Personality:

Tigris is a reserved and quiet person. She doesn't desire to be in the spotlight for anything, even though she is often placed at the front of the fleet during operations. Tigris prefers to be by herself most of the time, but will make exceptions for Retribution and any other people she considers close friends. Tigris is often found in remote areas of the base, enjoying the quiet away from the other Kansen, and reading one of her favorite books.

Quotes:

• Acquisition: UNSA destroyer Tigris, reporting as ordered. Would it be alright if I went somewhere quiet? It's too

Welcome back! We left things off on a pretty dour note, let's see if it gets better or worse from here... As always, you can read it on Fanfiction or AO3, you can view all of my works here and here respectively, and if you want to support me, you can do so via Patreon. Enjoy!

I’d hoped that Scharnhorst would come around, but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, I let that hope fade and sputter away, burying it beneath the dull ache that had replaced it. Taihou had been sent on a two-week patrol, and once she’d returned, had promptly reconfined herself to quarters, rarely leaving it unless she was assigned to an exercise or a patrol. Part of me still felt bad for hurting her like that, but she brought it on herself. The rest of me was hurting from Scharnhorst’s dismissal. Almost every day I didn’t think back and wish I could have done things differently, or wonder if there was any way for me to make amends. She was probably the best friend I’d had in years, and it was killing me that I lost her to my own stupidity.

Gneisenau continued to excel as my secretary, and while none could truly compare to Taihou, she was no slouch. When Gneisenau was needed for a patrol or sortie, Belfast filled in for her. I’m sure Scharnhorst would have had something to say about that, if we were still speaking. Her sister would occasionally fill me in on how she was doing, either on her own or when I asked about her. She seemed to be doing well, training hard and throwing herself into the thick of every battle. Sometimes she’d come back worse for wear, but nothing Vestal couldn’t fix so far. I still wondered why she threw herself into combat so recklessly, but resigned myself to the fact that I would probably never know.

Instead of our lunchtime sparring sessions, I usually took my meals at my desk, grabbing a bite to eat while I pored over the book she’d given me. While the translation into English helped immensely, it was still written in a very archaic fashion, and it took me some time to try and figure out what the author was trying to say. I’d normally kept it hidden away in my drawer, but today I’d forgotten to put it back and left it ou

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

So they implemented the upcoming game modes and maps for the next Sortie Timers, but that still doesn't acknowledge the fact that every map typically in rotation is:

Arctic Base Ruined City Derelict Colony Impact Site Lunar Debris Belt Resource satellite

Sometimes: Military Port Military Base

But what if there was a voting system where you could vote once every 2 hours for maps And Match Types? Then maybe we'd see the ever so elusive:

Mountain Deserted City Port Base JUNGLE Dead Space Space Fortress Interior

All I'm saying is, is that there is so much room for less predictable and more exciting match make ups because this is just weak sauce, man. WTF? Honestly, there should be more Ace Matches, more map variety. I live in Alaska so my times online are very different from most NA players, but regardless, same time, same days, it's the same shit.

I just wish they'd shake it up or at least let us pick what we want.

To argue against my point, most people would stick to what they know so they probably wouldn't change anything. Although, if there was a limited selection per Sortie Timer, it would work. Let's say certain peeps love Arctic Base, but it's not available for selection at the time, people may just want something different for a change and vote accordingly.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

BamBOO!

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

When I got home, they were still there.