the very peak of my existence about 6 months ago today
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GetNaeNaed06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Traveled to the top of a misty mountain in the Far East to ask the local monk the meaning of life

He said. Many men bite, but fumanchu

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hutchchi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone built a massive sheer mountain made out of tea leaves.

When it rains, its cliffs become steep.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
🚨︎ report
The local bartender moved his pub to the summit of a mountain and the quality of his drinks improved

He really raised the bar on that one

πŸ‘︎ 352
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the best way to guess the temperature at the top of a mountain?

Climate.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thyminecraft
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A list of puns I made about a friend named Ann.

ANNforgivable, ANNother One, bANNed, ANNdroid, ANNticlimactic, ANNbelievable, ANNemployment, ANNcharted, ANNgry, ANNlucky, ANNseen, ANNalyze, ANNadvised, ANNafraid, ANNaided, ANNapologetic, United NatANNs, AmericANN, CanadiANN, IndiANN, JamaicANN, BritANN, JapANN, AsiANN, HumANN, ANNoying, DirectANN, ProductANN, DestructANN, RegeneratANN, AcceleratANN, AbsorptANN, AccommodatANN, AccumulatANN ActANN, additANN, SubscriptANN, SubtractANN, MultiplicatANN, DivisANN, EducatANN, AssumptANN, AppreciatANN, ANNything.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DevotionInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I was all set to become one of the worlds greatest mountain climbers.

But then I peaked too early.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Bob Dylan didn't seem surprised when a boulder fell off a mountain on top of his house.

He calmly said it was just like a rolling stone.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog peed on my list of favorite businesses in the city

Now what’s left is Yellow Pages

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrabApprehensive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
🚨︎ report
When I married my wife, I made a list of all the chores I knew how to do to help out in the house.

It was the list I could do

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
A bunch of guys decided to build a cocktail lounge on top of Pike’s Peak.

It didn’t do as well as hoped. Maybe they set the bar too high.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mallthus2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The *peak* of puns ;)
πŸ‘︎ 321
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a mountain with a lot of cows hanging out on it.

Must've been Mount Heiferest.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
The nation of Iran lies between the ancient lands of Babylon to the west and the mountains of Afghanistan to the east...

In other words, it’s between Iraq and a hard place.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.

It's been reported he could have done with another coat.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of sightless mountaineers?

The Peaky Blinders

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Summetz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, β€œSo what do you think of The View?”

I said, β€œWhoopi Goldberg is ok, but I don’t like the other women on the show.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.

She took plea A.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems

But the beach ain't one

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:

Clock’s a doodled doo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.

I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lethalmouse
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
There was once a troop of boy scouts camping in the mountains

Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.

Never judge a brook by its color.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.

But No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDragonIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of mountains offends the most feminists?

The HIMalayas!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oneguy4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A group of German geologists recently made an interesting discovery within a mountain range of northern Italy

The team unearthed a layer of rock tessellations resembling a violin as viewed from behind.

As of yet they have no name for this strata variance.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raidenisme
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
There were some people who were playing poker in a slaughterhouse on top of a mountain.

It was a high-steaks game.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking in the Himalayan mountains when a hairy creature came into view. I was about to snap a picture but it said, "do not take a picture of me at this moment."

I saw a yet-i.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The peak moment of high school

This actually happened, probably close to 20 years ago now. In my high school chemistry class, the teacher asked if anyone knew what nitrates were.

It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

"I don't know," I replied, "but I bet they are better than day rates."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SaryuSaryu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
The actual peak of humanity
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beijial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Dr Seuss was recently convicted for shoving a man on to a mountain of corn, and stomping him to death, then shooting him twice, all while wearing women’s clothes.

sadly this is the 3rd case this week of a pop pop crop-top crop top pop hop

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever run out of water in the mountains?

Well urine luck

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Steph_Curryan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of mountains?

Hilarious.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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