Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.
Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.
It was cancelled because it was the 60s and Americans weren’t yet ready to have a gay old time.
Now I can't read anything.
Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you’re taking up Astronomy in college.
Kevin Bonpensiero: No, business.
Tony Soprano: Well how come he keeps saying you’re taking up space in school?
🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.
🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.
🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.
🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.
🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.
🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.
🍺 Beer may help improve memory.
🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
Elongate
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Number 3 will shock you
And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”
One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski
...It was Kief or Southernland.
Because Lisa Kudrow.
A hummingbird.
But I won’t letter!
Mentos
It's night.
This is the last straw.
But No pun in ten did.
I told him I don’t knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it
"I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger'.
It was the hardest dump I ever took
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
"The sink is the most important! It's where you get water for cooking, wash your hands, clean fruits and vegetables, and clean the dishes up afterwards."
But another person said,
"The countertop is even more important. It's where the food is prepared. And if the counter weren't there, you wouldn't have a sink at all!"
The first person was shocked. They weren't expecting a counterargument.
The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.
"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."
EDIT The responses here are incredible! 👌
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
I’m board.
I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.
"in vivo lost vagus"
The pupils....they dilate.
He really raised the bar on that one
K9P
A happy uncle.
I said: ‘Is that a fret?'
Now I can't read anything.
Now I can't read any of it
But now I can't read anything.
