I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I've never seen star wars. Are these the names of the characters? reddit.com/gallery/ku5asv
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/merppymerp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
The benefits of beer listed in bullet pints:

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
  1. alright
  2. alright
  3. alright
  4. alright
  5. alright
  6. alright
  7. alright
  8. alright
  9. alright
  10. absoutely briliant
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skycam3014
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?

Elongate

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatyougoon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I know that SpongeBob is the title character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks β€œWhat are you counting?”

And the guy says β€œhow many tattoos I have now”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepsea333
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is the imposter in a game of AMONG US among mythical characters?

Pega-sus.

Hey. Don't say Je's-looking-Sus bro

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a list of puns/bad jokes for every U.S. President reddit.com/gallery/jw48pr
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThackerOpinions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
It's like I'm some sort of Khartoum character.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.

I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iambaney
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.

But No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDragonIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A man in a drug trial died from a complication which dissolved his pneumogastric nerve, the coroner listed the cause of death as...

"in vivo lost vagus"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple of character shifts and Alice in Wonderland becomes A Lice in Wonderland.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bandicute_Springs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hidden Legend of Zelda character?

A Missing Link

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeKrispyKreme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute cracker
  1. great

  2. great

  3. great

  4. great

  5. great

  6. great

  7. great

  8. great

  9. great

  10. An absolute cracker

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Sleight of foot would be a cool β€œfeat” for a DnD character though
πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoyEden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I came across a list of ingredients to make plastic explosives.

I thought to myself, "Boy this looks like a real recipe for disaster!"

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
So I made this list of people ranked by their interest in paper based drawing boards.

I call it the flip charts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrowningStructure
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m thinking of ending my book with God sending a letter to the main character.

A Deus Fax Machina, if you will.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyflextape
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Literally just happened: Wife completing our 2020 census reading off list of ethnicities. β€œWait... what is... Chamorro?”

Me: β€œChamorro? It’s Chursday.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickfree
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
πŸš€ β€πŸŒ•Cybertruck Prototype πŸŒ• β€πŸš€

β€πŸš€πŸŒ• ‍ELON TWEET HYPE, BUT WITH LEGIT LONG TERM DEVS . πŸŒ• β€πŸš€
Strap in and get ready to launch.

This was created by a professional dev team of HOGL And BUFFTOWN (Developers of HOGL and Shield) They are dedicating their spare time to launch this as a meme project that will explode. Get in. We’re going to run this long term for listings on both CMC and Gecko.
Cybertruck Prototype has an ambitious core team of experienced Crypto veterans, all working day and night ( I mean this, we actually forced one to stay up well past his bed time while in the voice channel. ) to make sure we get to the moon fast, and safe.

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 4.6MM 24Hour Volume⭐️⭐️ ⭐️
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INCOMING CATALYSTS:

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SNL TONIGHT and the CyberTruckPrototype itself being the star of the show in NYC.

This is NOT a P&D. Liquidity is LOCKED, and ownership RENOUNCED.

CONTRACT RENOUNCED:
bscscan /address/0xf340e33aef552c836b4538ba09bbfccd5f42fa17#readContract

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bscscan /token/0xf340E33aef552C836b4538BA09bBfCcd5f42fa17

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⭐️ Website
Cybertruck . financial

⭐️ Telegram

t me /CyberTruckPrototypeOfficial

⭐️ Twitter

twitter /officialcybert

⭐️ Reddit
r /CyberTruckPrototype

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lynseahoss
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
[Pun request] Need a List of Cat Puns For US Cities and States

So far for States I have: Catifornia North and South Catolina Oklahomeow Oregato Furorida Mew York, Jersey, Hampshire, Mexico Connectikitty ​

For cities I have: Mew York Kitty Felinedelphia San Digato Mewmphis Chigato San Furanciso Indianapawlis Clawmbus​

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πŸ‘€︎ u/namtag24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend gave me a list of things she'd like to do for her 32nd birthday

I told her there's no way we could do all that in 30 seconds.

πŸ‘︎ 280
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Now’s your time to shine

Hope this is okay, but I write a new joke every week on a white board at work and I’ve run out of good ones. If you feel it’s relevant, I work for a roofing/siding company. Give me your best shot. I will reply if I find one to add to my list.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LadyBratcher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
All of my friends have such expansive bucket lists.

But mine is a little pail into comparison.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple expecting a baby girl made a long list of possible names for a girl child, but only one name in the event that they have a boy. They ended up having a boy.

He was named Justin Case.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My mate, Skippy, is a bit of a nerd. Just last night he spent 2 hours telling me about all the characters named Kang.

For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time

or

In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.

I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A whole *shop*ping list of them
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NVJayNub
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Okay doc, here's the list of heart and kidney donors in alphabetical order

Doc: Wow, it's very organized ;)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/that-rad-kid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend decided to get a tattoo of his favourite star wars character

You should have seen the Luke on her face

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Got_A_Hatt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend has been learning magic as a quarantine hobby. I present to you: my oc list of magician jokes and puns I invented to annoy him.

Did you hear about the magician who grabbed Eminem so hard his SnapBack fell off?

He pulled a rabbit out of his hat

What do you call a magician who is an administrator at a college, but nobody knows what students he is in charge of?

Whose dean’s he?

A magician went out to the store and bought a big metal structure so he could hang upside down and do situps. He also loved painting, but because of his style he often knocked the canvas around while dabbing on the paint. So he bought another, wooden structure, like an easel, but with clamps to hold the painting in place while he prodded it with the paintbrush. His wife asked, as he brought them in, what the hell he had just bought. He replied:

β€œAb rack and dab rack”

What do you call a magician with very skinny fingers?

Slight of hand

The magician’s wife brought him to the store to buy gifts for a birthday party. She picked out a lovely candle, but wanted to include a nice note. The magician knew just what to do. He brought her down an aisle, found a section marked β€œbirthday,” and said:

β€œPick a card, any card”

The Russian magician, in 1932, found an amazing new piece for his act: a giant, wooden sarcophagus in the shape of a beautiful woman. The piece had giant, metal blades inside at waist level. They were locked in place while it was open, but retracted as it closed, making it seem as though the magician had escaped death. But one day, while he was practicing, the great sarcophagus fell over - door still open - right on the magician. When he was found, he was cut right in two. Moral of the story:

In Soviet Russia, box woman saws you.

Okay that’s it. I’m so sorry, I have nothing better to do.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsk09003
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are trying to come up with an extensive list of vegetable related puns

Lettuce know if you have any

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainkrinking
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What genre of book can the author not kill off the main character?

Autobiography

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kool_Kunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I once put a list of symbols on a map and everyone still talks about it.

It's a legend.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Who's the main character in the legend of Zelda?

[Link] (https://www.google.com/search?q=image+of+the+word+gottem&oq=image+of+the+word+gottem&aqs=chrome..69i57j33l3.5289j0j9&client=ms-android-htc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=_qE-mtWpN0cj1M)

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neoraydm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Spongebob may be the title character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A List of My Favorite Dad Jokes
  1. My
  2. Favorite
  3. Dad
  4. Jokes
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasAllenSimms
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I just read a list of "100 Things To Do Before You Die" and I was quite surprised that...

"Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
🚨︎ report
All of my friends have such expansive bucket lists.

Mine is just a little pail in comparison.

πŸ‘︎ 289
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint

Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report

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