I know that the child emperors are pretty ridiculous but we have to admit that the death of Majorian was the honestly the last hope for the empire to recover. It is very sad that there was so much power hungry warlords in the Western Empire and that this prevented them from working with each other.
The wealthy senatorial and patrician class all can't stand the thought of a barbarian king and Ricimer and his entourage know this. They have to work something out.
The ascension of Libius Severus, a Christian and established senator, was elevated to power as a deal between Ricimer's party and the patricians of Rome, now living in a decimated city.
Now this man was the first illegitimate emperor since Petronius Maximus and Avitus but unlike Maximus, Libius never really did anything, he didnt really have to fight to usurp the throne, he was just placed there by Ricimer. Deal done.
Its interesting how you dont have somebody like Severus or Vespasian in this time. The death of Majorian was a severe blow to the empire and it amazes me how nobody like him existed afterwards that was able to retake the glory of Rome. It just took a nose dive after that.
In just 25 years after Libius took the throne, the West fell.
Why didnt anybody do anything? For example, back in the third century, the people of Rome hailed Gordian III as emperor instead of Pupienus and Balbinus. They would honestly accept the latter two if the child Gordian was adopted by them.
How come you don't have this with Libius? What were the Roman people doing that they weren't as outraged by this choice?
I would go so far to say that Rome lost many of its true followers after that second sacking, they either died or left the city for somewhere else.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
I'm not an expert on this topic. I have 10 tiers and I didn't rank within tiers.
Brilliant: Augustus, Trajan, Aurelian
Amazing: Marcus Aurelius, Hadrian, Diocletian, Vespasian, Antoninus Pius, Constantine The Great
Great: Leo I, Titus, Majorian, Constantius II, Valentinian I, Septimius Severus
Good: Nerva, Probus, Avitus, Claudius Gothicus, Constantius Chlorus, Pertinax, Theodosius II
Above Average: Claudius, Carus, Domitian, Numerian, Lucius Verus, Glycerius, Marcian, Maximian, Tacitus, Anthemius, Valentinian III, Theodosius I
Average: Julian, Lucinius, Valerian, Valens, Eugenius, Gallienius, Magnus Maximus, Julius Nepos, Constantine III, Constans, Decius, Honorius, Galerius, Aelia Pulcheria, Vitellius, Philip The Arab, Joannes, Libius Severus, Clodius Albinus
Below Average: Zeno, Constantine II, Macrinus, Galba, Didius Julianus, Maxentius, Patronius Maximus, Jovian, Constans II, Severus Alexander
Bad: Geta, Nero, Balbinus, Maximinus Thrax, Trebonianus Gallus, Carinus
Weak: Leo II, Romulus Agustulus, Arcadius, Valentinian II, Gordian III
Abysmal: Caligula, Caracalla, Commodus, Elagabalus, Tiberius
All other emperors didn't really do anything during their reign, so I can't judge how good of an emperor they were and I didn't want to clog the average tier too much, so I just didn't include them.
The Unexpected Choices:
- I put Diocletian in Amazing tier because he managed to stabilize the empire after a period of extreme chaos. If not for some of his reforms not working, and his religious persecution, he would be Brilliant.
- I put Pertinax in Good tier, because while he only stayed in power for two months, he attempted multiple reforms. I think if he would have stayed in power, he could've climbed to Great tier.
- I put Honorius in Average tier. He lost Rome, but I think you would need to be great or amazing to repel the barbarians at that point.
- I put Claudius in Above Average tier. I think the answer to the question of whether Claudius was a good ruler really depends on who you ask. I personally think he was an efficient and capable ruler, but he did have a few blunders during his reign, which means I can't put him above Above Average tier.
- I think Nero is very underrated. Everyone seems to focus on his possible involvement in The Great Fire Of Rome. Besides that, he was still bad, but nowhere as bad as the people I put in Abysmal tier.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
It was about a weak back.
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
