Lester Abrams Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

aaron abbey abbie abby abdul abe abel abigail abraham abram ada adah adalberto adaline adam adan addie adela adelaida adelaide adele adelia adelina adeline adell adella adelle adena adina adolfo adolph adria adrian adriana adriane adrianna adrianne adrien adriene adrienne afton agatha agnes agnus agripina agueda agustin agustina ahmad ahmed ai aida aide aiko aileen ailene aimee aisha aja akiko akilah al alaina alaine alan alana alane alanna alayna alba albert alberta albertha albertina albertine alberto albina alda alden aldo alease alec alecia aleen aleida aleisha alejandra alejandrina alejandro alena alene alesha aleshia alesia alessandra aleta aletha alethea alethia alex alexa alexander alexandra alexandria alexia alexis alfonso alfonzo alfred alfreda alfredia alfredo ali alia alica alice alicia alida alina aline alisa alise alisha alishia alisia alison alissa alita alix aliza alla allan alleen allegra allen allena allene allie alline allison allyn allyson alma almeda almeta alona alonso alonzo alpha alphonse alphonso alta altagracia altha althea alton alva alvaro alvera alverta alvin alvina alyce alycia alysa alyse alysha alysia alyson alyssa amada amado amal amalia amanda amber amberly ambrose amee amelia america ami amie amiee amina amira ammie amos amparo amy an ana anabel analisa anamaria anastacia anastasia andera anderson andra andre andrea andreas andree andres andrew andria andy anette angel angela angele angelena angeles angelia angelic angelica angelika angelina angeline angelique angelita angella angelo angelyn angie angila angla angle anglea anh anibal anika anisa anisha anissa anita anitra anja anjanette anjelica ann anna annabel annabell annabelle annalee annalisa annamae annamaria annamarie anne anneliese annelle annemarie annett annetta annette annice annie annika annis annita annmarie anthony antione antionette antoine antoinette anton antone antonetta antonette antonia antonietta antonina antonio antony antwan anya apolonia april apryl ara araceli aracelis aracely arcelia archie ardath ardelia ardell ardella ardelle arden ardis ardith aretha argelia argentina ariana ariane arianna arianne arica arie ariel arielle arla arlean arleen arlen arlena arlene arletha arletta arlette arlie arlinda arline arlyne armand armanda armandina armando armida arminda arnetta arnette arnita arnold arnoldo arnulfo aron arron art arthur artie arturo arvilla asa asha ashanti ashely ashlea ashlee ashleigh ashley ashli ashlie ashly ashlyn ashton asia asley a

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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10151. Methods in Behavioral Research, 12th Edition: Paul Cozby & Scott Bates

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10154. Ecosophical Aesthetics: Art, Ethics and Ecology with Guattari: Patricia MacCormack & Colin Gardner

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10161. Computing Essentials 2019, 27th Edition: Timothy O'Leary & Linda O'Leary & Daniel O'Leary

10162. Horngren's Accounting, Global Edition, 10th Edition: Tracie L. Nobles & Brenda L. Mattison & Ella Mae Matsumura

10163. Biology and Ecology of Pike, 1st Edition: Christian Skov & P. Anders Nilsson

10164. The Psychology of Women and Gender: Half the Human Experience, 9th Edition: Nicole M. Else-Quest & Janet Shibley Hyde

10165. Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, 1st Edition: Neil deGrasse Tyson

10166. Marketing Research, 5th Edition: Naresh Malhotra & Dan Nunan & David Birks

10167. Manual of Clinical Procedures in Dentistry, 1st Edition: Nairn Wilson & Stephen Dunne

10168. Principles of Macroeconomics, 8th Edition: N. Gregory Mankiw

10169. Principles of Macroeconomics, 6th Edition: N. Gregory Mankiw

10170. Principles of Economics, 8th Edition: N. Gregory Mankiw

10171. Macro

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

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5591. DeVita, Hellman, and Rosenberg's Cancer: Principles & Practice of Oncology, 11th Edition: Vincent T. DeVita &, Steven A. Rosenberg & Theodore S. Lawrence

5592. Machine Elements in Mechanical Design, 6th Edition: Robert L. Mott &, Edward M. Vavrek & Jyhwen Wang

5593. Molecular Cell Biology, 8th Edition: Harvey Lodish,& Arnold Berk,& Chris A. Kaiser,& Monty Krieger, & Anthony Bretscher, & Hidde Ploegh, & Angelika Amon,

5594. Managing Operations Across the Supply Chain, 3rd Edition: Morgan Swink &, Steven Melnyk &, M. Bixby Cooper &, Janet L. Hartley

5595. Foundations of Nursing Research, 7th Edition: Rose Marie Nieswiadomy &, Catherine Bailey

5596. Expert Oracle Application Express, 2nd Edition: Doug Gault &, Dimitri Gielis & Martin DSouza &, Roel Hartman &, Raj Mattamal

5597. Introduction to Econometrics, Update global 3rd Edition: James H. Stock & Mark W. Watson

5598. Industrial Microbiology: An Introduction, 1st Edition: Michael J. Waites &, Neil L. Morgan &, John S. Rockey &, Gary Higton

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