And it was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic churches than casinos? Not surprisingly, many Sunday worshippers will give casino chips instead of cash when the offering plate is passed around. Since the churches get chips from so many different casinos, they have devised a way to collect the offerings. They send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks.
Blue Rondo Γ la Turkey on Rye.
C'est la D vie D
A guy walks into a bar on Ash Wednesday and orders a beer. "I'm really having a hard time trying to decide what to give up for Lent," he tells the bartender. "Well let me tell you a little cautionary tale about giving things up for Lent," the bartender says. "A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition. This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow... "
Pasta La Pizza Baby!
And a bad romance starts with βra ra ah ah ah, ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la laβ
He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?
"Remember the a la mode!"
The conversation went like this.
Dad: C'est la vie.
Kid: La vie.
Dad: No, "C'est la vie."
Kid: I did.
kreml-de-la-crème
ΒΏQuΓ© dijo la gallina de un lado del camino a la gallina del otro lado del camino?
βΒ‘PAβCA! Β‘PAβCA!β
English:
What did the chicken on one side of the road say to the chicken on the other side of the road?
βOver here! Over here!β
(βPaβcaβ means βover hereβ in colloquial Spanish)
(Iβm of Cuban descent for reference)
We all knew that at some point, weβd have to discuss the LA font in the room.
French woman with Covid?
La Wheez.
Everything in the menu is *a la carte
- Las Kitchenas
- Los Lounges
- Santa Bedroomes
- Porto Gardenas
- Los bed
- Costa Del Balconia
- St Bathroom
- La Rotonda De Sofa
E-boo-la
Sunni LaBeouf
From the La-vendor.
Iβm calling it Vista la Hosta, baby!
I quickly replied, if it happens, you can say Hosta la vista, baby.
That got me a round of slow clapping from the whole family.
A young man worked at a carpet selling business and one day his boss came up to him and said:
"We have been impressed with how you sell the products. We're going to send you to a carpeting convention in Las Vegas so you can learn all the tricks of the trade. We will pay for your flights, accommodation, and all your food!"
The young man was excited and went and got ready for his trip. The day of the trip came and the young man's boss called and asked him if he was excited for his adventure to which the young man replied:
"Yes I am! I'm gonna seize the day because I've got a carpet per diem"
The creme de la crematorium
2:30 AM: A woman accused of robbing a large bank in San Francisco
6:00 PM: A man accused of scamming high rollers in Las Vegas
9:00 PM: A man accused of shooting two rival gang members in Los Angeles
The last one: Keep him away from the Crip tonight
It's la mΓͺme.
r/punpatrol
r/punKGB
r/Pun_Internal_Affairs
r/punspecialforces
These are the names of our oppressors! There may be more, but they are our greatest threat. They are currently amassing an army to try to end puns as we know it.
If we are to save this beautiful form of our language, than we must unite! We must not divide ourselves by titles, but unite ourselves as punners!
They plan on eradicating all puns by going to the source, the pun user. Are we to let ourselves be undermined by those who think they are better than us? Are we to let ourselves and all future generations be banned from puns? If you say no, then join in the revolt
##VIVA LA R/PUNS
La palabra mas larga
A: Pasta la vista, baby!
Told my girlfriend I had some ideas for names for our future kids.
First was Penelope for a girl, because I always liked the nickname Penny. Girlfriend thought it was cute and agreed.
Next was Dimitri because it's not too common and sounds artsy. Girlfriend was not much of a fan, but agreed it would sound good with our last name.
Last was Nicholas Levar for a son's name. Named after Santa Claus and Star Trek's Geordi La Forge. I love Christmas and my girlfriend loves Star Trek. Girlfriend shot it down.
At this point I said, "But the nicknames are good! Penny, Dime, and Nick L. We would have 16 cents to our name! It makes cents to me!"
Not sure if she wants to have kids with me now.
EDIT: To the guys saying Dime isn't a nickname for Dimitri, they're MY imaginary kids, I'll call them what I damn want.
So last night, i proposed to my girlfriend of 7 years. We went to go watch Boyz ii Men out here in Las Vegas. I had purchased the meet and greet package to which the entire show staff and Boyz ii Men were completely aware about what I was about to do.
After I had popped the question, there was silence, Wanya turns over to my girlfriend, and says, "You can say, he's On Bended Knee." I heard my girlfriend silently groan under her breath, before she said YES!
I'm notorious for puns in our relationship, so after he came through with that punchline, she knew that they were in on it too. What an honorable night for a dadjoke!
Photos of the moment here!
http://imgur.com/a/pIO0h
Q: What is the average math teacher?
A: mean
Q: What dessert do math teachers eat the most?
A: pie a la mode
Q: Where does the average cop hide when catching people for speeding?
A: The highway median
A particular family in LA has been abstaining from using one letter of the alphabet for Lent each year, since 2001. It started as a joke, giving up "A" in 2001 and "B" in 2002, but developed into a strong family tradition.
This year, one of the members has a tough choice to make. Unlike the rest of the Astleys, Rick made a solemn vow...
A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"
Did You Knowβ¦
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos. Not surprisingly some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed In.
This is done by the chip monks.
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
A: Pasta la vista, baby!
A: Pasta la vista, baby!
