What Sith Lord immobilizes his opponents instead of killing them?
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︎ Feb 23 2021
The Killing Joke
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︎ May 12 2021
Pun walks into a room with 10 people and kills them all.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Did you hear about the farmer that just got sentenced for killing his neighbors cow?
After a quick investigation, the Prosecutor was able to turn it into a brief case.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
If killing a man is homicide
is killing a friend homiecide
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︎ Mar 17 2021
What is green and fuzzy and if it falls out a tree it'll kill you?
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︎ May 05 2021
Train derails in New Mexico, killing 23 people
It must have had a locomotive.
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︎ May 06 2021
This subreddit is killing me slowly
I have a coworker who at the end of the day everyday slowly reads off Dad jokes, mostly from here because theres new ones so often and because he knows it drives me crazy. I blame this place for that.
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︎ May 06 2021
I went to a microbrewery and a soft serve ice cream store the other day.
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︎ May 04 2021
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
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︎ May 12 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
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︎ May 13 2021
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
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︎ May 09 2021
How does a non-binary Swordsman kill people?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
They/them
(They slash them)
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny
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︎ Feb 21 2021
How does a non binary person kill someone?
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︎ Apr 16 2021
how does an non binary samurai kill pepole..
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︎ May 05 2021
What do you call a soft peanut?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What do you say to warn your family you're about to test a new dad joke on them?
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︎ Mar 11 2021
How do you kill a southern vampire?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What kinds of countries do soft drink companies make?
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︎ Apr 01 2021
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
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︎ Mar 28 2021
What does the plumber say to their child after lecturing them?
ππ¦π΅ π΅π©π’π΅ π΄πͺπ―π¬ πͺπ―...
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︎ Apr 20 2021
I do punny art π Hope you guys like them.
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︎ May 06 2021
Which man did Jaro kill?
https://preview.redd.it/zyvclp2qjkx61.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71048f27b50f7e73283bc35ea167606f6c89d1bc
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︎ May 06 2021
I killed someone called Bart
I think I'm a bartender now.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
There is a new Sith Lord who prefers to immobilize his enemies instead of killing them.
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︎ Dec 01 2019
Why does a baby duck walk softly?
Well itβs a baby. It canβt walk hardly.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I begin my new job tomorrow, proofreading for Merriam-Webster, the online dictionary. I asked them if I'd be starting at nine, and they told me to fuck off.
I'll be starting at aardvark, like everybody else.
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︎ May 10 2021
My parents always pushed me to get a big job. So i worked at a soda company just to sprite them.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Why is Pavlovβs hair so soft??
Because he conditioned it. π
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︎ Feb 10 2021
I gave the dog a bath today and the wife noticed how soft she was and asked βDid you condition her?β
So I said βyeah, I rang a bell and then fed herβ
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︎ Mar 14 2021
I just killed a massive spider crawling across the room with my shoe.
I don't care how big the spider is, nobody steals my shoe.
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︎ May 12 2021
After Orville and Wilburβs first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
βAre you all Wright?!β
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Who called them testicles and not donuts.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Man walks into a shop and picks up a can of bug spray
The man asks "is this good for wasps?"
The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I bought a record at the charity shop the other day, "Sounds That Wasps Make". I took it home and it sounded nothing like Wasps.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
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︎ May 03 2021
A guy I know just bought a bunch (almost a shit-ton) of soft foam footballs and kerosene...
I think his plans are Nerfarious.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
People ask my secret to a happy marriage. I tell them the trick is my wife and I go out to dinner twice a week.
I go Tuesdays and my wife takes Thursdays
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︎ May 14 2021
I just heard that Snap, Crackle & Pop, Tony the Tiger and Capn Crunch have all been killed.
Sounds like the work of a Cereal Killer.
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︎ May 09 2021
I like jokes with a lot of soul in them.
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︎ Mar 23 2021
What Sith Lord immobilizes his victims instead of killing them?
Darth Ritis.
Edit: The Sith Lord of politeness, Darth anksalot.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
What Sith Lord immobilizes his opponents instead of killing them?
π︎ 5k
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︎ Sep 22 2018
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
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︎ Apr 20 2021
How do non-binary samurai kill their enemies?
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︎ May 12 2021
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
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︎ Mar 22 2021
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
How does a non-binary samurai kill their adversaries?
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︎ Mar 25 2021
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