My kids gave me a Nickname

My Mutha Fucka

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📅︎ Jan 22 2019
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I got my kids to believe that my sister, who we rarely see, owns the nickname social.

Now when we all meet up every few months they greet her with "Hey auntie social".

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👤︎ u/OwenMilloy
📅︎ Feb 04 2015
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You know which one of my kids can carry the most gasoline?

Jerry Can

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📅︎ Apr 02 2018
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A Dad joke planted as a seed, which took 17 years to flower.

Not quite as tragic, but it manifested into something which has haunted me at my job for years.

When I was a little kid learning about the world around me, my dad was naturally the font of all knowledge for me, He would answer all of little snippersmith's questions with his own unique insights and anecdotes teaching me of my surroundings with varying degrees of accuracy.

One day In a picture book, I encountered a photo of one of natures most bizarre creatures, the mighty duck billed platypus. Filled with curiosity of this bizarre creature and an Inability to read a young snippersmith asked his father what this creature was called, To which his father replied,

That's a Quackopotamous.....

As is a highly likely situation in day to day life the Platypus (or indeed the Quackopotamous), did not come into conversation for another 17 years, Until of course the Platypus came into conversation around the lunch table at a now grown up snippersmith's full time place of work.

I have not been allowed to forget I thought the Platypus was called a Quackopotamous, Indeed I am reminded on a daily basis by my colleagues, by my nickname Quackopotamous .

Thanks Dad.

EDIT 1: Holy Cow this took off! Gold! thank you so much.

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Jan 21 2016
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Naming our future children.

Told my girlfriend I had some ideas for names for our future kids.

First was Penelope for a girl, because I always liked the nickname Penny. Girlfriend thought it was cute and agreed.

Next was Dimitri because it's not too common and sounds artsy. Girlfriend was not much of a fan, but agreed it would sound good with our last name.

Last was Nicholas Levar for a son's name. Named after Santa Claus and Star Trek's Geordi La Forge. I love Christmas and my girlfriend loves Star Trek. Girlfriend shot it down.

At this point I said, "But the nicknames are good! Penny, Dime, and Nick L. We would have 16 cents to our name! It makes cents to me!"

Not sure if she wants to have kids with me now.


EDIT: To the guys saying Dime isn't a nickname for Dimitri, they're MY imaginary kids, I'll call them what I damn want.

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Oct 25 2015
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My father thought he was hilarious...

It is tradition in my family that the first born male be nicknamed Billy until they have a kid. In which case he will then be dubbed "Bill" forever. My dad decided to make my middle name Lee...

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👤︎ u/wpage1992
📅︎ Jul 18 2014
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