Barbie and Ken are continually arguing over who will empty the dishwasher. One day, Ken says "Barbie, I've unloaded the dishwasher every day this week.. can you PLEASE do it just this once?"

..."No, Ken do"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canadaddy-o
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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After getting my wife pregnant with my second child, my daughter asked me why Barbie doesn’t make a pregnant Barbie.

I told her it was because Ken came in another box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Why don’t we have pregnant barbies?

Because ken came in a different box...

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justaguy2727
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Why are we calling her Barbie...

When we can call her chick-ken?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rozsaszin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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When Barbie called Ken his bro...

Ken was broken.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moronphoton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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My daughter asked if she could cut the hair off of one of her barbies to make a boy barbie.

I said "You Ken if you want to."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clowncar83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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What did the authorities do when Barbie's boyfriend was involved in a serious car accident?

They contacted his next of Ken.

That's a damn good joke. I'm proud of that joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Me: Look, I'm going to throw this ninja star

Friend: No you can't

Me: Shur I ken

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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My wife asked if I could go one day without mentioning ninjas.

I said: shur I ken!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyOnTheStreet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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My girlfriend was running her fingers through my chest hair and says...

"I love that you are hairy".

I said, "I'm Ken who the heck is Harry?"

She hit me, she actually hit me for that.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReverendKen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
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Why does the monk β€˜Brother Kenneth’ always need fixing?

Because he is Bro Ken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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How do an Englishman, a Frenchman and an Israeli greet Barack Obama?

Yes

Oui (Yes in French)

Χ›ΧŸ (Ken - Yes in Hebrew)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pfo_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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What did the foot earn for coming first in the running competition?

A golden toe-ken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Ken goes to the egg factory

A guy name Ken is late for his work at the Egg Factory. As he was running to work, he steps on yellow wet paint and it got all over his shoes and pants. He thought about going back home, but he trudged on. Then as he walked by a building a bucket of red paint spilled all over his hair. His hair was all red and thought about going back home, but he kept on going. Finally, he just needed to cross the street to get to work, but suddenly two trucks, one carrying glue and one carrying feathers, crashed into one another and it got all over Ken. He couldn't go home now since he just needed to cross the street to get to work, and so he did. As he went through the sliding doors, his boss said to him "Gee Ken! Your'e late for work!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElvisEggsly
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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What did the Japanese street fighter say when he met the American?

R yu Ken?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capn__Brunch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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A chicken crossed the road and met James Bond

'What's your name?' Asked the chicken, 'Bond, James Bond. Whats yours?', 'Ken, Chick Ken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jack_oss
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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Can you perform a spinning dragon uppercut

Shor-yu-ken

Ba-dum tss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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How does Ryu greet Ken?

how-YOU-ken

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
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How race is Ken bone?

Ken-bone-dian!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemonplay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
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I'm a prosecutor, and we had our morning meeting, and I was asked to leave over this one

1: "The fight was in the kitchen area at the restaurant between the bus boy and the dish washer."

Me:" Who is the defendant? "

1: "The dish washer. "

Me: " Is it the State v. Ken More? (Kenmore)"

2: "Get out."

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorianXVIII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
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What do you call a male Barbie doll who used to be in a frat and lost his self-confidence?

Bro-ken

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anondnow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2017
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A Russian Nesting doll and a Barbie doll were having an argument about Ken, who they both liked.

The Russian nesting doll said "I've got so many more layers to me than you, honey."

Barbie didn't care though. It was a cheap shot, and as she pointed out, "At least I'm not hollow on the inside."

And Ken was laying her every damn night anyway, so the original statement wasn't strictly true.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan ... (xpost /r/vegetarian)

Thanks to the following individuals for helping persuade me to become vegan:

Ron Acerous, Sal Amander, Herb Avore, Chic Adee, Al Bacore, Paul R Baer, Al Batros, Wally Bee, Lady Bugg, Jay Byrd, Ann Chovie, Anna Condra, Barry Cuda, Terry Dactyl, Ray N Deer, Flo N Der , Erma Dillo, Ann Enome, Terry Err, Liz Erd, Ann Fibian, Dale Finn, Redd Fox, Buddy Fly, Ken Garoo, Allie Gator, Billy Goat, Pan Guin, Ann Gus, Hal Ibut, Bob Katz, Tom Katz, Anne Kelosaurous, Don Key, Ann T. Lope, Moe Lusk, C. Lyon, Chip Monk, Flo Mingo, Sal Mon, Anna Mull, Barr Nicole, Kay Nine, Kyle Otee, Al Paca, Lia Pard, Millie Pede, Ellie Phant, Arthur Podd, Jack Rabbit, Gerry Raffe, Ty Ranaceourous, Mack Rell, Wally Rus, Jack Russel, Fez Sant, Dina Sauer, Drew Sophila, Chris Station, Hal Steen, Clyde Sudale, Ann Teeter, Pan Ther, Earl Thurfworm, Tara Ann Tula, Bea Tule, Ray Venn, Bea Ver, and Beau Vine.

I couldn't have done it without your support !!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStupidVegNoob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2016
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During her college years, why did Barbie call the technicians when her boyfriend joined a fraternity?

Because he was bro-ken.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enfo13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2016
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Discussing my parent's cats name with my dad...

We call him Kenjamin but his proper name is Kenjamin Benjamin. This was our text message exchange yesterday and thought it was worthy of sharing.

Dad: After watching the olympics I decided Kenjamin is Chinese.

Me: What? I need you to explain further.

Dad: Ken Xia Minh

Me: Oh my god...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Naming My Son Ken - Dad Joke

I’m going to name my child Ken so when he gets to the age where he starts asking questions like β€œdo you know how to…” I can say, with a smirk on my face, β€œHa do Ken”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DracorexGeek
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2015
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My two year old snagged my father in law with this one

My father in law passed by the kitchen and said, "Remind me to bring the cooler."

My two year old followed him out of the room and grabbed him yelling, "Daddy Ken! Remember your cooler! "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanman1975
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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Every single time I say, "I'm tired..."

Dad: "I'm Ken."

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in another box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaMarkulus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
🚨︎ report

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