Ugh the new drummer just freaked out when they heard our musical group’s name is β€˜Fresh Breath Candy’

They must have a band of mint issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikesidehugs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2022
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I just sent a message to my group message for my family.

I said that I'd made the most Rockin guacamole.

Enter the 12yr old, quick as a flash,

"I guess you could call it a rock-amole!"

Digital eye rolls from mum, hi 5's from me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Borguschain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2022
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What is the one group of people that just never get angry?

Nomads...

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2022
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Just been asked by a group of kids outside the Spar shop if I would get them 20 Richmonds.

Stupidly I agreed and got them a packet.

When I handed them over, I couldn’t believe the abuse I got off the cheeky little bastards after doing it!! Told them next time they can get their own sausages!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boardindundee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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I just played rock-paper-scissors with a group of celebrities...

The Rock was the easiest to beat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstroAwesome12345
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2022
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A group of monks selling flowers in front of the playboy mansion was just escorted off the property by the owner.

After all, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2021
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My buddy has a cycling group, but they just ride around his house.

It’s called the Tour de Frank’s.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fastestdaveever
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2021
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I just donated to this group which helps out stray cats...

I guess I'm a feline-thropist now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poastash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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my dad just got dadjoked via group text

sister: wish I was there with you

Dad: catch a plane

sister: I don't have a big enough net

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wishiwasAyla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2014
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Some whales just started a music group

Its called the orchestra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ieatshoes2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Turns out there’s a group of people who believe the earth is just a rented apartment from galactic British overlords

damn flat earthers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lurebat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.

He is now a Pa Pa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greystone_86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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My wife just joined an activist group called DAM

Mothers Against Dyslexia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/remixclashes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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I just got accepted into the most popular anger management group.

It’s all the rage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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I just found out my daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause

Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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I just joined a group of wealthy bell haters

I can’t believe I’m finally part of the nobellity!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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Just read that ZZ top is the longest running group with unchanged lineup...

It's got me under pressure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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My friend just picked a fight with a fan of hip hop group Insane Clown Posse, who was with his friends.

They all attacked him, but he went straight for the Juggalo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in my room when I saw a group of 10 ants just running frantically.

I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box. This technically makes me their landlord and they are my Tenants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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A Saudi Arabian investment group just purchased Hobby Lobby.

It will now be called Wahabi Lobby.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pickles17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
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What do you call a group of people who just finished dinner?

A party of ate.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book.

The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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I'm in a group text with my sister, brother, and dad. I think he just discovered puns. imgur.com/a/732UL
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itstheblitzgun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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A group of settlers had just finished building a damm.

They looked at the valley below, they were gonna build a village and start new lives there.

One settler said to another: "This going to be our damm nation."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GirikoBloodhoof
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
🚨︎ report

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