What do you say to warn your family you're about to test a new dad joke on them?
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︎ Mar 11 2021
My 11 year old shared a cool joke. He says...
"I just bought a fridge magnet.... So far I have 14 fridges!"
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︎ Apr 17 2021
I would like to say a joke on construction
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︎ Apr 18 2021
I'm gonna say a good joke
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︎ Mar 27 2021
What did one kid joke say to the other?
My dad joke is better than yours
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︎ Mar 29 2021
People say I plagiarized my jokes
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Sorry this isnβt really a joke but I wanted to say thanks
I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank yβall for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesnβt seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!
Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and Iβm so glad for yβallβs support!!
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︎ May 23 2020
What did a patient say to his chiropractor after him telling a joke?
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︎ Jan 27 2021
My 3.5 year olds favourite joke: how do the oceans say hello to each other?
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Search for this subreddit on Google and the tagline says "the best Dad Jokes on reddit"
But I joke other places, too.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
I was gonna say i joke about girlfriends
But i was like nah you wouldn't get it.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Say what you want about dad jokes...
...but they're all relatively funny
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I can now legally tell dad jokes so heres my favorite. What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I made a joke saying this Thanksgiving would be extra special because we'll be spreading around diseases like the original Thanksgiving. Someone told me "too soon".
They were right. I should have waited until next week.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Daughter says itβs the winner of dad jokes
Our niece told us all in a family group text that they called the election.
I wrote βAnd did the election answer or did it go straight to voicemail?β
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Like Dad always says, nose joke stink...
...but eye jokes are cornea.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
I went to the doctor because I can't stop saying airplane jokes
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︎ Aug 28 2020
I wasn't going to say a gay joke
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I got a warning message from a mod saying βmy jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this subβ
I replied saying βlet the people in this sub decide, for christ sakeβ
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︎ Nov 02 2020
My 7 year old came up with a dad joke: What do Zombie Cows say?
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︎ Sep 28 2019
My dad finally got to say the ultimate dad joke!
I was hungry af yesterday and I called my dad to buy something to eat
Me: Dad, I'm Hungry
Dad: Hey hungry, I'm dad!
All these years I was so cautious not to fall for it and yesterday was the first time my guard was lowered and he used the opportunity!
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
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︎ Apr 04 2021
A couple of dogs were sitting in the kitchen chewing the fat. First dog says, βI heard a good joke today.β Second dog replies, βGo on then.β First dog continues, βKnock Kno..."
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
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︎ Sep 16 2020
I know you think I'm joking when I say we have a French Canadian Prime Minister
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you say to a vampire when he graduates? (and other monster jokes from a book I had)
Countdraculations.
What is 5m. tall, hairy and flies at 2,179 km/h?
A King Kongcorde.
What do witches use to know the hour?
A witch watch.
What do you call a chicken spirit?
A poultrygeist.
And one mine:
What do you call a house inhabited by a chicken spirit?
A hen-ted house.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
I would leaf a joke here but I have nothing intreesting to say
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︎ Apr 30 2020
I have a scary joke about math, but I'm 2Β² to say it.
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︎ Nov 03 2019
Which Marvel antihero says the most wordplay jokes?
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︎ Jun 27 2020
I would like to say a good chemistry joke, but...
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︎ Apr 13 2020
Just wanted to say how much I love telling dad jokes
Unfortunately though he never laughs
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︎ Jun 26 2020
People say that dad jokes aren't very clever.
But then I look back on the post that I have saved from a year ago that says otherwise.
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︎ Feb 19 2020
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Hereβs the joke β What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?
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︎ Aug 17 2020
LPT: When you are telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you say the entire joke.
Because it isnβt easy to tell them a part.
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︎ Mar 15 2019
Joke my 4 year old came up with. What did one pilot say to the other?
Whoβs flying this thing?!
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︎ Jun 24 2020
I don't want to get too complicated saying this joke
So all I'll do is complain
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︎ Jul 13 2020
People were saying my jokes were cheesy...
...but I think theyβre grate π
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︎ Mar 04 2020
Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?
A tiny part of me says yes.
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︎ Sep 29 2020
My dad says I won't get the joke he has about my new toupee.
He said it would go over my head.
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︎ May 12 2020
A joke I thought of in elementary school: what did the dragon say to the bad employee?
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︎ Apr 27 2020
A proud dad sits down to have a drink with his father.
"Well son , now that you have got a kid of your own, i think it's time to give you this."
"Dad you don't mean-"
"Yes son ,i do"
Dad pulls out the copy of 1001 Dad Jokes,5th Edition
"Dad... i am honoured..." , He says , tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured" , replies his father , "i'm dad".
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︎ Apr 07 2021
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, βA beer please, ..."
"... and one for the road."
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︎ Sep 15 2020
What do pirates say when they hear a really bad joke?
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︎ Dec 30 2019
A botanist tells a joke to another botanist that he finds particularly funny. The first botanist is laughing so hard he can hardly muster a sentence, but manages to say...
That joke was so funny I nearly wet my plants!
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︎ May 02 2020
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