...and I cannot recommend it enough to Simpsons fans.
For those who don't know, John Swartzwelder is one of the writers of the Simpsons, who worked on the show from 1990 to 2003. He wrote 59 episodes, which include classics like "Homie the Clown" , "Radioactive Man", and "Homer at the Bat".
I am currently reading "The Time Machine did It", and every chapter has gotten a handful of laughs from me. It is a mystery/sci-f novel, and it has the absurdity of classic Simpsons combined with super dry delivery. Here is an excerpt:
“The next day, a dead turtle was left on my doorstep as a warning. I couldn’t figure out as a warning for what, and I guess whoever was watching me picked up on that, because the next morning there was another dead turtle, but this one had several sheets of paper glued to it’s back leg. The pieces of paper contained a long footnoted explanation of all the symbolism involved. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me. The turtle was the “turtle of inquisitiveness” and the cheese smeared on it’s shell meant something, and the little cowboy boots on its feet meant something. Everything about this animal meant something apparently to whoever sent it. I still didn’t get what it was all about. The next morning there was no turtle. Somebody just shot at me from the bushes.”
The plot is more or less a segway to set up bizarre scenarios and jokes, and I can say that most of them land. I am not much of a reader, but this novel is a quick and easy read, so anybody can easily hop into it.
I'm still waiting for a few of John's other books to come in the mail, and I can't wait to read them as well. From what I can understand, John self-publishes these books, and you can find them for $15 a pop on Amazon. I'd say it's a good, cheap way to spend a few evenings if you have the time.
"I have a trick that makes things easier for me. Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible, putting in crap jokes and pattern dialogue—“Homer, I don’t want you to do that.” “Then I won’t do it.” Then the next day, when I get up, the script’s been written. It’s lousy, but it’s a script. The hard part is done. It’s like a crappy little elf has snuck into my office and badly done all my work for me, and then left with a tip of his crappy hat. All I have to do from that point on is fix it. So I’ve taken a very hard job, writing, and turned it into an easy one, rewriting, overnight. I advise all writers to do their scripts and other writing this way. And be sure to send me a small royalty every time you do it."
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-new-yorker-interview/john-swartzwelder-sage-of-the-simpsons
I originally got Disney+ for the Mandalorian. In between episodes, I have been going through the best of the Simpsons. John Swartzwelder's influence and chain smoking cannot be denied. His love of carnies, hobos, baseball, and old timey Americana can be felt throughout the first third of the show. Also, it is really fun to find him in the background of episodes.
I have, however, compiled a brief list of questions that I've accumulated over the years from friends and random internet folk.
"Who are your favorite characters?"
My favorite characters to write for were the scenes between Homer and Lisa. Dan and Yeardley are magical together.
"Itchy or Scratchy?"
Homer said it best. Itchy has no honor. He brings unorthodox weapons into the fray and disrupts the natural order of the cat/mouse dynamic.
"Are you Ron Swanson?"
My name is John.
"What ever became of Hank Scorpio?"
Taken into custody, cut a plea deal, served time, currently greeting people at Old Navy.
"Is ketchup an acceptable condiment on steak?"
Next question.
"Is this post merely an advertisement for your books?"
You must be referring to my books, which are available on Amazon, eBay (id: kennydalebooks) and wherever reading materials are sold. Of course not. If I did, I would also take the opportunity to promote my Twitter page under JJSwartzwelder.
I hope this has been a helpful read.
John
I just read today The Monster That Wouldn't Sink and Earth's Biggest Fan, as they were both short and cheap and really enjoyed it, and I am planning to start The Time Machine Did It. They remind me a lot of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, or, more appropriately, Futurama. As many here must know, John Swartzwelder was the writer of many The Simpsons episodes from seasons one to fifteen, so I would recommend to any fan.
It's a cleverly written novel from one of the early writers of The Simpson's about a familiarly homeless detective cop with similar themes and humour to Disco Elysium!
First post on here, I hope this is ok!
I know there are only like 3-4 pics of him floating around, so I thought this might be of interest to Simpsons fans.
I found it in what I believe to be an obituary page for his dad (who is from Washington state, like John). Obit lists his son as John from Los Angeles. In the memorial photos, this popped up. Certainly looks like John (on the right).
Original page of photos:
https://www.dignitymemorial.com/en-ca/obituaries/renton-wa/john-swartzwelder-5056976
Obit listing a son John from LA:
Lots of good writing advice here, including this:
>How much time and attention did you spend on these scripts? Another “Simpsons” writer once compared your scripts to finely tuned machines—if the wrong person mucked with them, the whole thing could blow up.
>
>All of my time and all of my attention. It’s the only way I know how to write, darn it. But I do have a trick that makes things easier for me. Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible, putting in crap jokes and pattern dialogue—“Homer, I don’t want you to do that.” “Then I won’t do it.” Then the next day, when I get up, the script’s been written. It’s lousy, but it’s a script. The hard part is done. It’s like a crappy little elf has snuck into my office and badly done all my work for me, and then left with a tip of his crappy hat. All I have to do from that point on is fix it. So I’ve taken a very hard job, writing, and turned it into an easy one, rewriting, overnight. I advise all writers to do their scripts and other writing this way. And be sure to send me a small royalty every time you do it.
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-new-yorker-interview/john-swartzwelder-sage-of-the-simpsons
