Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...

You must be from Mars, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/granquist04
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do you never see people running in Jeans alone?

Because Jeans run in a family

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Br4ve_He4rt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do designer jeans and cheap hotels have in common?

No ballroom .

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I accidentally left some money in my jeans as they went through the wash.

I just worry because I know it’s illegal to launder money.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Like8catsbro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in a bar in Texas, when a man walks in wearing a paper cowboy hat, a paper shirt, paper jeans,paper chaps and paper boots.

Anyway, the sheriff burst in and arrested him for rustling.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard about a politician who was caught accepting bribes from a jean company.

He’s in the pocket of big pants.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the guy in the dad jeans get a COVID test?

Because he didn't have any taste

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frontsign_mike
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
You need two i's
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Jean Pool
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hound_O_Ulster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
"The Epic Split" featuring Jean Claude Van Damme
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michael_v92
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Wolverine walks in on Jean Grey sneezing without covering her mouth..

...and says, "Hygiene".

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r1pen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Jean Luc Picard's favorite shotgun?

TEN GUAGE

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill_Parker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with holes in his jeans?

Neil Walker

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What are Mario's jeans made of?

Denim denim denim

Denim denim denim

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaiusnutcassius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_dude_abides3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Jean-Claude VAN damm
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hapitwat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife insisted she has nudist genes

I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans

Edit: there->their

Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S93C141
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
As a chubby guy, I always avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it extremely difficult to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Apple bottom jeans boots with the purr
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RajuNeupane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My family suffers from chronic diarrhea

It runs in our jeans

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Master_Achi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?

duodenum (duo denim)

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jensyao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandpa just came over to my house with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. Miffed, I questioned, β€œWho's this guy?” Gramps chuckled and replied, "Who, him?"

"This is my hip replacement!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have proven that diarrhea is hereditary

Yep. They've found that it runs in your jeans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How come the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms?

The scientific experiments altered his jeans

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bueno117
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fashionable scientist who can design your baby to your specifications?

They are always bragging about their designer jeans

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/commrademcmasters
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
CDC declares Diarrhea to be a genetic disease

It runs in your jeans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/annthaknee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I just watched a documentary on the evolution of skinny jeans.

I couldn’t get into it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What if Jeans was actually pronounced like Jean. Like in Jean Paul Marat.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nanofatty22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Skinny jeans aren't for everyone...

I personally don't think I could pull them off.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?

Because it’s got a marrow waistline.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad joke pun the GF hit me with this morning regarding blue jeans

While putting on a pair of jeans this morning before work, I remarked to my gf something along the lines of "I've had these jeans for years, they're so old!"

To which she replied: "Yeah I can see that, they look like they've been in your family for generations."

I'm still absolutely floored with pride.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of pants should you wear ghost hunting?

I recommend a pair a normal jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buttlerubbies2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard about a politician who was caught taking bribes from a jean company.

He’s in the pocket of big pants.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What are Mario’s jeans made of?

Denim denim denim, denim denim denim

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMisterMan69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Diarrhea is hereditary.

It runs in your jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?

duodenum (duo denim)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jensyao
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost my sweatpants, so I wore a pair of jeans to the gym.

It got ripped.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/languagepotato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Police tried to arrest some jeans....

they just couldn’t get them cuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
[To someone with ripped jeans] Did you go to church in those jeans?

Because they’re really holy

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/usereddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
This morning, grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans. I asked, β€œWho is this guy?”

Grandpa: My hip replacement.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a pair of jeans and a brain?

Genius.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mesir
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What are Mario's favourite jeans to wear?

Denim Denim Denim

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Warghost_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know diarrhea is heredity?

It runs in your jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tunahands316
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your jeans

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gruffudd725
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
As a fat guy, I try to avoid wearing skinny jeans.

I find it very difficult to pull it off.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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