DO NOT spell the word "part" backwards. It's a trap.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_asstronaut_
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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It's a trap
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/93bizzle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
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I was getting a rabbit trap off the top shelf in my garage when it fell on my head.

It got caught in my hair.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/googie1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
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No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.

I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanimus0829
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.

"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the world are you doing that?!"

The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the only one in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Tripped over my wife's bra.

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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If there’s one thing I learned over the years, its this…

When your wife starts a conversation with β€œCorrect me if I’m wrong…” you just smile and agree. Don’t correct her, it’s a trap.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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My wife took off her shirt and bra during an argument where I was winning

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 311
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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I walked into the bedroom today and tripped over my wife’s bra.

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Luck rituals in the Australian Open.

I was golfing in the Australian Open for the first time. I noticed all the pros were putting various condiments on their clubs. Salt on a putter, brown sauce on a driver, ketchup on a 9-iron.

I my caddy why they were doing it, and he explained that an Australian thing for good luck.

Now, by that time I had already shot straight into a sand trap so I said to him: "Too bad I didn't know about it. I really could use some of that luck right about now."

He just smiled...

...and gave me a vegemite sand-wedge.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrianBoyko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Tom absolutely loves tractors

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys were gone with the wind at this point, as Tom spent all his waking hours playing with this one tractor toy.

Fast forward a few years, and Tom's now approaching his 10th birthday, with his love for tractors intact and intensified. His parents discuss what to get for him, and decide that a ride-on tractor to replace his bike is the best gift they can give him.

Tom absolutely loves the gift, and spends all of his time out of school riding around the neighbourhood while his bike collects dust in the garage.

We come forward a few more years, as Tom approaches his 18th birthday, with an only intensified adoration of tractors. His father pulls him aside on the morning of his birthday, saying "Now son, I know that we've promised you a car, but we know what you really want."

He leads him outside, to a brand new tractor with a bow on it, saying that this is his welcome to adulthood.

Tom is beyond excited, and spends the next few months going everywhere in his tractor - grocery trips, bars, classes, friends' houses.....

Again, a few years later, Tom is driving down a back country road, in the middle of nowhere, with his tractor, in the middle of a storm. The tractor breaks down, and with no air conditioning or any form of modern comforts, Tom is in a miserable mood until someone finally comes past for him to flag down for help. After this, Tom realises that although tractors are fun, maybe they're not the best transport method out there.

Tom ages through a few more years, and finds himself driving down another road in the middle of nowhere in his car, and sees a house on fire just off the road. Being a good samaritan, he pulls over and heads up the driveway to a woman running out of the house screaming "Please, help, help! My baby is trapped in there! Go and call 911, please!"

Tom turns around, then, before leaving, has a brainwave.

He turns back and walks towards the flames, saying "Don't worry, ma'am, I've got this."

He takes a deep breath in, and the fire disappears into nothingness. As you'd expect, the woman is in awe, and asks, "Oh my God, how did you do that?!"

Tom simply responds, "Well you see ma'am, I'm an extractor fan."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurarkt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Do not read β€œpartasti” backwards!

It’s a trap!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/math-pro
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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The Coffin Joke

Three brothers are trick or treating near a shady house. Suddenly, a spider appears on the first brothers arm causing him to scream in shock. This causes the second brother to run away in fear only to get hit over the head by a dead tree branch. The third brother tries to escape but trips over a coffin. Filled with fright, the three brothers decide to go back home before they are stopped by a ghost that informs them, β€œThe items you have encountered today will kill you in exactly 20 years.” and vanishes into thin air. Understandably, the three brothers were terrified out of their wits and ran back to their house.

20 years later on Halloween, the first brother has booby trapped and spider-proofed his entire house. Unfortunately, he accidently runs into a wall causing a black widow to fall on his arm and killing him.

The second brother has prepared for many years and made sure that he was nowhere near any trees. However, he somehow miscalculated by one day and was killed when a lightning bolt struck a tree causing it to fall and crush him.

The third brother completely forgot about the ghost’s warning and was having dinner with his wife. His allergies were really acting up that night, so he decided to go to a pharmacy to purchase some allergy medicine. Suddenly, without any warning, the entire store goes dark and a giant coffin appears in front of him, opens up, and starts moving towards him. Remembering his frightful Halloween over 20 years ago, the brother starts desperately throwing everything in sight towards the coffin but to no avail. Now there is nothing else left other than a lone bottle of NyQuil. In one last brave attempt, the brother throws the bottle of NyQuil at the coffin and it miraculously vanishes.

Because NyQuil keeps the coffin’ away.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schosple-collopis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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I watched an amazing nature documentary tonight, it was about the American coyote.

In order to catch its prey it constructed a cunning trap of a grand piano suspended above a target, it then baited the trap with seed and lay in wait for a road runner to pass by.

Very interesting.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot.

Pun in, ten dead

Edit: The police quickly arrived at the scene, surrounding the bar. The pun was trapped in the bar but it decided to hold on and have a shoot out with the police instead of surrendering. Sadly, the pun was shot. He was pun out dead at the scene.

Edit: Nobody attended the puns funeral, they all at ten ded.

-Mic drop-

Edit: Wasn’t that a killer pun?

Edit: Unfortunately I told about 10 puns before this one. Did any of them land? No. No pun in ten did.

(Credit To killsforsporks and TLo137 for the last 2 edits)

πŸ‘︎ 495
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanthom12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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My dad walked in on mom with her boobs hanging out.

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmyleKyleSmyle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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I warned my son to never look at porn.

It's a boobie trap.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdwardLewisVIII
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Did you hear about the 2 dyslexic men who walked into a bra?

They failed to see it was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/woodenpenny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Why was the man afraid of a bra.....??

Because it was a Booby Trap

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SAMSATION73
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.

It was booby trapped.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim4life
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Son, if a woman ever asks you to spell β€œPART A” backwards, don’t do it!

It’s A TRAP!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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*knock knock* "Who's there?"

"Pun-patrol! You s-pun around on your chair way beyond government regulations!"

"I can't help it! I'm pun-sexual!"

"Sir, o-pun the door or we will have to use force!"

"Stay back! I have a hostage! I don't care if my crimes will ever get ex-pun-ged!"

"Lay down your wea-pun! Face your pun-ishment!"

"Sir, I just arrived and can confirm, he has a Pun-da!"

"Thank god for your pun-ctuality! This changes everything! Now go and pun-ch down the door!"

crashing noises

"Sir! We have fumes! God, what is this pun-gent smell??"

"Ahaha, you ran into my trap! Now die, Pun-k!"

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

silence

"No time for com-pun-ction. Come, S-pun-ky, we need to leave. Let's head for Pun-ama."

EDIT: formatting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0tBlue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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My girlfriend had to fart while we were watching a movie but felt too embarrassed

GF: It hurts to hold it in and it's making my stomach feel bad.
Me: It's ok, you can fart in front of me. When you feel it coming, let it out slowly so it doesn't make a noise and sit directly on your butt so you'll trap it in and it won't smell.
GF: Wow, I didn't know you were my "Fart Teacher."
Me: I prefer "tutor."

πŸ‘︎ 942
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Memer04
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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Not a joke say but a good prank my dad pulls.

Years ago my dad got his ring finger torn off, so now all he has is a little stub.

So now when he meets new people he puts ketchup on it and puts a Chinese finger trap on. He walks up to them and puts on a flustered face. When they tell him he needs to "push together" he replies with "don't be stupid that won't work!"

He then proceeds to yank his finger out.....that's my dad.

πŸ‘︎ 231
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeppelinofled
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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Never spell part backwards

It's a trap!

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bastelnd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Dont spell part backwards

Its a trap

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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I tripped over my wife’s bra today,

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Partybomber3214
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t spell the word part backwards.

It’s a trap.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xiixxkxksksks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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I tripped over my wife's bra

It was a booby trap

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/southwoodhunter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into my bedroom and stepped on her bra

It was a boobie trap

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agarcia128
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I tripped over my wife's bra....

...It seemed to be a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 486
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owlbear15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't spell part backwards

It's a trap

πŸ‘︎ 208
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlmogeinN
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't spell part backwards..,

It's a trap!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mimi_K_V
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Don’t spell part backwards

It’s a trap

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cynrui
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I slipped on my wife's bra today...

It was a booby trap

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Headsup_Eyesdown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I tripped over my girlfriend's bra.

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ketchupchilli
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't spell part backwards

It's a trap

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jalen2612
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report
DO NOT spell the word β€˜part’ backwards.

Its a trap

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Don’t read Part A backwards.

It’s a trap!

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rodunk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Whatever you do, don't spell part backwards

Because it's a trap

πŸ‘︎ 640
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSnider
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2017
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Don't spell part backwards

It's a trap

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jalen2612
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
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I walked into my wife's room and tripped over her bra...

It was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_John_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Don't spell part backwards.

It's a trap.

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jupiiters
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report

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