A list of puns related to "It's All About the Benjamins"
Jesus is walking in Jerusalem when he sees Benjamin Goldstein, the robemaker.
“Excuse me, Ben? I have been told that you are the man to see when you want to have robes that will last walking for miles and being touched by hundreds at a time”
Goldstein ponders for a minute, then an idea comes to him. He makes Jesus the most beautiful robes ever made, all colors and the softest but most durable material Jesus had ever seen. Jesus was grateful and wandered off to give sermons.
About a year goes by, and Jesus finds his way back to Goldstein. “Pardon me, Ben? The robes you made me were magnificent, but as all good things do, these are now well worn. Can you make me another?”
Goldstein takes a moment to plan out his masterpiece, then proceeds to make a second robe that put the first robe to shame. It almost glowed in the sunlight. While delivering it, he told Jesus, “you know, since I made your last robes, I have seen more customers come through my doors than I could ever have hoped for, and I’m sure I’ll get even more from these ones! Hey, Jesus! We should start a company!”
Jesus inquired “what should we call it?”
Goldstein shrugs and suggests, “how about Jesus and Goldstein’s robes?”
Jesus looks back and says, “let’s call it Lord and Tailor”
The funniest and cutest wedding puns by Puns Ville
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right so I left
Marriage is: Finding the one person to ANNOY for the rest of your life!
To some, marriage is a word. To others, a sentence.
When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.
Honeymoon: The holiday a man takes before he begins to work for a new boss.
When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Cantelope.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe
To many girls think the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.
Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!
Two nuclear technicians got married. She was radiant and he was glowing.
Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
When a psychic showed me the girl I’ll marry, it was love at second sight.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.’
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ‘You know, I was a fool when I married you.’ The husband replied, ‘Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.’
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is
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