No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...

β€œI play a little guitar!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What Canadian province has the most brass instruments?

Many Tuba.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/glowing-fishSCL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a fisherman's favorite instrument?

The C Bass.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Subsum44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the church musician that lost his instrument?

He was really dis-organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/majestic_walrus1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Which is the music instrument that Samurai Jack despises the most?

The Akustic Guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Guys, I have been thinking about selling my Theremin.

I haven't touched it in years.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTaminus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who hits people with brass instruments?

A bugilist

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Salty_Cellist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
This year, my friend decided to play his string instrument with a neck and a deep round back enclosing a hollow cavity, with a sound hole in the body at the voting booths...

He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What instrument do fishermen play?

castanets!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/softstone1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.

But they are a major second.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SD_Swift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Seems like a Bassless claim to me
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most dangerous group of instrument players?

Violins

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlockyShapes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a tuba glue.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thirteen_20
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I once knew this guy who hated all high-range instruments.

He was a huge bassist.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...

It's a regular penacea!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation

I really have to make it count

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a musical instrument for my daughter, which cost me $1000.

It was a grand piano.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the favourite instrument of a skeleton?

A xilobone! (Bet you thought about a trombone Huh)

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uiltje16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a large keyboard instrument with pipes that I gave for free to my local church.

Always proud to be an organ donor.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Favorite instrument of the dyslexic ghost?

The Obo

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lockstocks85
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What instrument do fishes play?

The guitartar

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/burnallthebooks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What rock group has 4 guys who can't sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you clean a band instrument with?

A tuba glue

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rekker_dekker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If you remove all musical instruments from a church

Is it disorganised?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roku-Hanmar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I play instruments for my church one day I got really sick...

I went to the doctor he said I was missing an organ.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A prisoner joined a convent and wanted to be a part of their marching band. What instrument did she decide to play?

It's a conundrum!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Which musical instrument is the most depressed?

The sigh-low-phone.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Amazon should change rating on music instrument category to 4 stars

So i can give them 4/4

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arifshiddiq
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a skeletons favourite instrument?

The xyloBONE!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty78644
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex used to hit me with a stringed instrument every day.

If only i had known about her history of violins.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous8776
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?

$5,318,008

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was thinking to myself, if I wanted to race some musical instruments, where would I go?

Then it came to me, a soundtrack of course.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A man only plays his instrument when alone

Accordion to himself, he’s great

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/double_tap_00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences goes largely unnoticed.
πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the name of the great actor, who also quietly plays an instrument?

Piano Reeves

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a sheep’s favorite instrument?

Two-baaaas

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrick23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Accordian to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What instrument do skeletons play?

Xylobones

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SupermanFSF
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 218
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I won the lottery and squandered most of it on buying 17th century artwork and musical instruments.

It left me baroque.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of whales play instruments?

An Orcastra

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.