A two-star officer was so vain about how good he looked in the updated uniform...

...he ordered all flare guns to be loaded with an action figure in his likeness. That's right: the Very model of a modern major general.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/conflateer
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My dealer got me the last of this in-demand strain called Death Star.

He says I'm lucky before he Alderaan out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....

Where the fuck is my roof ?

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
In honor of Star Wars Day (May The Fourth), here’s a themed dad joke!

Did you know the temperature of a Bacta tank is lukewarm?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusk118
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Ms Wilson, Australian star of the Pitch Perfect movies has announced she no longer believes in Santa.

She is a Rebel without a Claus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kouroshkeshavarz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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Chewbacca of Star Wars was once a great baseball player in The Major Leagues. . . . . .

Seriously, he won Wookie of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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What do you call a neon sheep in the Star Wars universe?

A day-glo baa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Who stared as Han Solo in the Scandinavian remake of Star Wars?

Harrison Fjord.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rufusjivefunk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Tell a man there are three hundred billion stars in the universe, and he believes you.

Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he has to touch it to be sure.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Last night as I lay in bed staring at the stars I thought to myself

Where the heck is the ceiling?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
So I was laying in bed last night, looking up at the stars.

Then I realised. Where the f*** is my roof?

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trace826621
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a statue in the star wars shop?

Mannequin Skywalker.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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It's in the Stars πŸ‚
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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What does a 6'10" Irishman with a sunburn have in common with the star named Betelgeuse?

They're both red giants, and way bigger than my son(sun).

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barrtender
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't Mike Tyson live in the Star Wars universe?

Because it's inhothpitable.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Yoda: In charge of scheduling, I was.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
In a vote for my favourite film of the Star Wars franchise ...

... β€˜Solo’ would win Hans down.

(I’m sure that’s been done before but it’s new to me. Sorry if that’s the case! Meanwhile I am trying to come up with a version about who shot first - Han or Greedo - but Solo had one Han up and the other under the table, so not both Hans and not really β€œdown” either. Shucks)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedBobRob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
So I was singing All Star in the car the other day, and my friend asked β€œHow do you know all the words” so I swiftly replied:

β€œSomebody once told me”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spider_Dimwit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Whoever did this is certainly a rising star in the company.
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juangusta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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If the family that popularized gull-winged doors had a baby girl, and they wanted to name her in honor of Star Wars...

She could be Amanda Mandalorian DeLorean

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:

"Where the fuck is my roof?"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasAllenSimms
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend: "I created the brightest star in the night sky."

Me: "You can't possibly B Sirius."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the Death Star measured in miles?

Because they used Imperial units.

πŸ‘︎ 853
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.

That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and I said to myself,

β€œMy roof has disappeared”

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountryHeart11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
In the star wars universe (sorry if repost) imgur.com/xv62AJp
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danihendrix
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2013
🚨︎ report
The "I am your father" part in Star Wars was really out of hand.
πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirCorley
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Just saw the star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend preform in London for the first and (maybe) only time.

It was a 'once in Bloom moon' experience.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkiingOtter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do the star ship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both look for "cling ons" around "Uranus"

πŸ‘︎ 676
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesBlitz00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
🚨︎ report
In honor of the new Star Wars trailer.
πŸ‘︎ 441
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerGav09
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
🚨︎ report
What type soda do you get covered in if you sleep under the stars?

Mountain Dew

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakewilson801
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The actor for Skywalker in Star Wars made a lot of money from his work in the franchise.

One might say, it was Lucrative.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rethinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
For star wars day this past weekend I made cookies in the shape of a wookie.

They were a little Chewey.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
At the pre-screen for Solo, a Star Wars Story. They gave us these in our cup holders. I love nerds. I love puns.
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tritops2018
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars for the first time in 4K?

HD aM I

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rotary_13b
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
In the Star Wars Universe, they don't eat baby wookiees ...

because they are a little chewy.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
🚨︎ report
In Star Wars episode 3, when order 66 was given. All the Jedi were killed

It was a Jedicide

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hopen_Tiger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana want to star in the movies?

He wanted mass a-peel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skives47
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order: 456123?

In charge of the sequence. Yoda was.

πŸ‘︎ 383
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence. Yoda was.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and I said to myself,

β€œMy roof has disappeared.”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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