Yeah your foot
I guess it's a bunk bed.
He approached me after I had parked in my driveway and asked if I knew why he was writing me a ticket.
I told him I had no idea what I had done wrong.
He said that he followed me for my entire commute and not once did I get in an accident. He fined me for wreck-less driving.
No need to remind her every 15 minutes about it.
it will be time for Hugh & Barbara, rather than Dan.
(I know its Muir/Robach and Stahl/Dickerson but I grew up with Mr. Downs and Ms. Walters. Anyone else?)
post time: 2300 GMT -5 12-31-2019
It wasn't the most accurate, but it gets the point across.
She caught my son and me smoking pot in the garage.
...Please hold the lion.
I'd hate to be that guy.
This year, I will try to beat that but, I usually get bored and end up turning over to watch something else...
“Sure, I’m all ears.”
He starts Stalin
I forgot I had a pizza in the oven
It was a brief case.
Her: The recipe says, Step 3: Prick with a fork to make sure it’s cooked.
Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
I told them it was one hour long.
So I know of this one plant. He's a sentient plant, who feels like he needs to move around more than he does (because plants can't move where they're planted on their own), and decided that he needs feet to do so.
So, the plant got a contractor to build him a laboratory around himself. He worked tirelessly for years in hopes of growing a foot he could use, but to no avail. Or, almost no avail.
He managed to finally create SOMETHING, but it wasn't much. All he could get out of all of his experiments and concoctions was a toe. Not even a real toe, a fake one.
So he has now performed...
FAUX-TOE-SYNTHESIS
(say it out loud)
Wife: We should talk.
Me: tick
Wife: What?
Me: tick
Wife: ...
Me: tick
Wife: *rolls eyes* Tock.
Me: =D
...it's tooth hurty.
Sure its only three words, but for me that's an improvement.
"Dad, do we have a coat of arms?"
"Well, I have a coat with arms!"
eye roll
