I'm getting fed up with my wife! She's always stopping my perfect animal impressions just because she finds them annoying.
If she yells at me one more time for impersonating a flamingo, I'm going to have to put my foot down.
Two old men are sitting poolside when the first one asks, “Have you read Marx?” The other one replies...
“Yes, I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”
Dad to his son; “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”
Son; “Go on, then.”
Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son; “That’s Superman.”
Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
I met the inventor of the car bumper today.
I think I made an impression.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents
