House of the King Puns

His people were dissatisfied with his greed and revolted. He was forced to leave his vast wealth and gorgeous material possessions behind and escape to a deserted island for refuge. The only treasure he was able to smuggle away with him was his throne- a beautiful throne of solid gold chased with jewels, his most prized possession. But in his escape, he lived in fear that he would be tracked down and his last piece of luxury stolen. Therefore, he built himself a hut of grass and straw on his new island, but created a secret attic in the hut to conceal it, beneath which he slept. And for a time, he was safe. However, the rains came, and the damp grasses could no longer support the weight of the heavy golden throne, and the attic floor collapsed while the king slept, taking his life. The moral of this story, of course, is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

So a long time ago, there was a tribe of people living in the jungle. They were ruled by a cruel and terrible king who lived the high life in a large and sturdy structure he called his palace, while his subjects had to hobble together homes out of grass and straw. The king would also frequently demand tribute, forcing his people to bring him offerings of food, to the point where some people were outright starving.

One day, a group of insurgents had had enough. They snuck into the kings palace at night, knocked out the guards, and stole the kings glamorous throne. They brought the throne back to their hut, and stowed it under a tarp.

When the king awoke the next morning, to say he was angry would be an understatement. He ordered his guards to search the village until they found the throne, and to kill the insurgents who would dare humiliate him.

The insurgents panicked when the guards showed up. The tarp was removed, and there was the throne. Rather than risk the thieves escaping, the king ordered his guards to torch the hut, destroying it, the throne, and the insurgents all at once.

It just goes to show; people in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

A long time ago, there was a family with a number of sons and daughters. The youngest son's name was Steven Prise. Because there were so many other brothers and sisters, Steven didn't get attention from the family. To get people to notice him, he had to jump into rooms and yell his name. The people didn't like getting startled, but whatever, it's poor neglected Steven. Obviously, that's no way for a child to grow up, and Steven was aware of that. He told himself that one day, he was going to make something of his life!

He grew up and moved out of the house to forge his own path. Lo and behold, he was able to invent a new farming tool that doubled the harvest. This made him wealthy and the king wanted to honor him by knighting him. They go through the process and the king told Steven that since he's a knight, he should act distinguished, so no more jumping into rooms. Steven begged and the king said fine, but only one more time. He waited for the best opportunity, snuck up to the door, slowly opened it just enough, and then jumped in and yelled, "Sir Prise!"

Among other things, he had a huge castle containing a massive throne made of gold.

The problem was that all his wealth came at the expense of his subjects, who were reduced to living in thatched shacks.

One day, while the king was out hunting, a poor peasant snuck into the castle and stole the gold throne. He took it home and hid it up under the roof of his shack.

When the king returned, he was furious. He went from house to house looking for his throne, and interrogating each occupant while his guards searched the house. While he was at the shack of the thief, the guards searched his house. Their activities disturbed things enough that the roof structure broke and the heavy gold throne fell on the poor peasant thief, killing him instantly.

The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn’t stole thrones.

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!

Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!

Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!

No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!

What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.

A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

What animals are on legal documents? Seals!

Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!

Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.

Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!

How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Dockyard: A physician’s garden.

What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!

The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”

I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!

When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

The king of a small African nation had an elegant golden throne in his large grass hut. When an old friend came to visit from another nation, he was worried that the man would discover he was a king and treat him differently. He searched frantically for a place to hide the throne, but to no avail. Finally, he decided to have it wedged up in the ceiling of his hut.

When his friend arrived, he went to the hut's opening to greet him. Just then, the ceiling started to give way, and the golden throne fell on the king and killed him.

The moral of the story is this: People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.

A dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

By the way he does not need to pay for medical insurance.

He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head.......

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A dog is like a “POLITICIAN”

A few years ago, my dad and I were building an addition onto his house. He rented a tool from the hardware store and had to return it, so he asked me to come with him and we would get some breakfast. There was a Burger King nearby, so we decided to stop there to eat.

When we go to the drive-through, we realize the restaurant was closed down, so he drove around the building to get back on the highway. As we were passing the dumpsters, he stopped the car, backed it up, and pointed towards the ground near the dumpster. I looked for a few seconds, trying to see what he was pointing at.

Then... I saw it.

It was a giant, 12+ inch black dildo, standing upright next to the dumpster. It propped itself up on its fake dildo balls, gently swaying in the breeze.

I was astonished. I couldn't even imagine what events in the universe had to line-up so as to end up with that giant dildo meticulously placed next to the dumpster at a closed-down Burger King. I couldn't even begin to fathom why it was there.

My dad, with perfect timing, then shouted "GAY TIMES WILL BE HAD TONIGHT!" and sped out of the parking lot.

We ended up going to Denny's.