I’m laying in our spare bedroom it’s 4am writing this while our 9 month old sleeps next to me. I feel numb.
TLDR: long term marriage, had a baby, everything has been going really well but recently find husband is texting a younger girl he hooked up with while we were separated a few years ago.
Don’t want to leave but how do I set boundaries so this doesn’t continue to happen. Need steps. Also do I reach out to her to tell her to back off? She lives overseas.
Background - the long version.
My husband and I have been together for eight years, married for seven. We met traveling in India and had a whirlwind love affair. I had never felt this type of connection before. He gets me on a cellular level. It’s intense and our sex life is usually great, up until having a baby (yep, all they say is true). We have had an awesome life traveling, living in a van for a bit and just really enjoying the beauty that is life together.
We got married within a year because he’s American and I’m Canadian. That came with its own challenges of diving into a deeper level commitment without going through the trials and tribulations of a regular relationship first, but we weathered through the ups and downs and grew together. We bought a house.
Until 2017 hit. I restarted a high stress career and our relationship crumbled. I was drinking a lot to cope (or not cope) with the stress, plus it was that election season and I work in media so it was very stressful and polarizing time. It seeped into our relationship. My husband generally hates politics as it provokes his own anxiety about the uncertainty in the world — so after a few intense (kind of drunken arguments on my own part that he should care) we fell apart.
At the beginning of 2018, while on a trip in the Himalayas working on a project, he broke up with me and left. Like I mean.... we broke up in the hotel, he got on an eight hour bus ride and then flew out of the country two days later to Sri Lanka.
Yeh. It was brutal. I was a mess.
But thankfully had an amazing friend with me there to help navigate the first 10 days with me. But he lcut off pretty much all contact with me for the next few months. It was earth shattering. One minute we were married and in a partnership and the next he disappeared. ( I should say this is the MO of his biological dad who is legitimately a real poetic drifter and disappears when things get too overwhelming — he did this to him multiple times throughout his life. Anyway!)
While
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Pilot on me!!
