Made my brother-in-law throw an egg at me:

We're oddly competetive about our omlette-making abilities, so tensions were already high.

Him, attempting to flip an omlette:

"Damn, it folded"

Me:

"Y'know, omlette this one slide, but you better step it up"

👍︎ 83
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📅︎ Dec 26 2016
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My friends aren't talking to me anymore.

Friend 1: He was electrocuted by playing with high tension wires. Friend 2: Oh my god. I wonder how much that would hurt. Me: He was probably in shock... Friend 1+2 glare

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 16 2015
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