Demi Lovato is my favorite female, I consider her a hero.

A heroin, if you will.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/streety22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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I was sitting at a red light with my family, and I said "Look, son! A super hero!"

It was the Green Arrow!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/caramelcooler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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You know what a fight between Cloud Strife and Hero is Smash is called...

A square off!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheManWithAPlan555
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and youโ€™re a total hero.

But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 64
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rocknocker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What's the opposite of a hero?

A there-o

๐Ÿ‘︎ 113
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life

Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not

credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ImRoderick1303
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Fallen hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/unoriginalnuttah
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a female hero on drugs?

Heroin.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JohnBillyBob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Thereโ€™s only one super hero who can get into this frozen dinner

Leave it to Thor

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nymphomanius
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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A true hero.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 52
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wubbalubbadubdub_2
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Heโ€™s a hero for our country
๐Ÿ‘︎ 105
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/the-grape-next-door
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Why did the capeless hero get fired from his job?

He wasn't capable to do it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ATragedyOfSorts
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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We were watching the movie Gladiator and then saw picctures of the hero now...

Now he is a "glad he ate"er..

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mdchris19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Did you hear about the middle eastern super hero?

They call him Iran Man

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/IamREBELoe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Who's the fastest super hero?

Speeder-man

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sulfinn
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He sometimes wishes heโ€™d never been Bourne.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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What would a chemist say to a corrupted hero?

You argon far from serving a noble cause

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/1aim1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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What do you call an ex-Vice President that plays Guitar Hero?

An Al-Gore-Rhythm

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/killmore22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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Why isnโ€™t there a super hero that instead of being bitten by a spider and getting a spider sense, gets bitten by lice and get a lice sense to kill?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mlopes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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This kid at the school assembly is my hero

Context: Our school was having a presentation at assembly from Together for Humanity - "a multi-faith not-for-profit organisation that is helping schools, organisations and communities to respond effectively to differences of culture and belief". The presenters were an orthodox Jew, a Muslim, a Christian and an atheist.

When they asked for questions at the end, my new hero asked "Have you ever gone to a bar together?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/D-Nizzle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
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I work in retail and today a mom asked about โ€œMy Hero Macadamiaโ€

It was nuts!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Philonic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is that super hero who shrinks down to subatomic levels?

Is it... Quark Kent...? Da dum tisssss

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Puni_corn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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This guy is a hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 66
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hados1109
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Donating a kidney makes you somebody's hero.

Donating 5 makes you a suspect

๐Ÿ‘︎ 64
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2019
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"We don't need a fishy super hero!" The land locked victims exclaimed.

"I sea," said Aquaman

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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The hero we need [OC]
๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Burger_com
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 20 2019
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In college i thought General Calculus was a Roman war hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NameViolation666
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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I heard Netflix is making a live action 'My Hero Acedemia' with Matthew Mcconaughey...

Hes going to star as All Might, All Might, All Might.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2ndcummingofchrist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Who did the hero fish have to defeat?

Anemone

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Legend tells of an incredible hero...

Legend tells of an incredible hero: Carto-Man. Half of his body is a regular human, but the other half is made up of a key from a map.

The man, the myth, the legend

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/purevermonter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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What comic book hero loves dad jokes?

The PUNisher

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Our hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Marth_43
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Super Hero Waiter

What did the Super Hero Waiter serve to the Vegan Villain? Just-ice

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NIKBOL42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Skyrim kneads a hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dragkire
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Peter Parker didnโ€™t always want to be a super hero

He originally had dreams of being a web designer

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TimHP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Zero to hero
๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/darkandtwistysissy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear that Nintendo is going to make a Queen-inspired Guitar Hero?

Its going to be called Wii Will Rock You.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dewmangroup
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why was the hero arrested by the police?

He was doing heroine.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mukundan_chariar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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What medal did the weasel war hero receive?

A badger of honor.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jackovias
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CapedBat
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the super hero with a lisp say after working out?

I'm Thor

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/whiskeyboundcowboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the hero named Cliff?

He was quite LEDGEndary.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DiligentCube6
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He wishes he was never Bourne.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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