Henri Cornet Puns

ARSENAL RB: Zeki Celik, Max Aarons CB: Ben White, Edmond Tapsoba LB: Ryan Bertrand, Junior Firpo CM: Ruben Neves, Yves Bissouma, Albert Sambi Lokonga CAM: Martin Odegaard, Julian Brandt, Christopher Nkunku, Manor Solomon

ASTON VILLA CB: Axel Tuanzebe LB: Rico Henry, Ashley Young, Ghislain Konan, Maxwell Cornet CM: James Ward-Prowse, Ruben Loftus-Cheek CAM: Emiliano Buendia (Joined IRL), Matheus Pereira ST: Tammy Abraham, Chris Wood, Eddie Nketiah, Adam Armstrong

CHELSEA RWB: Achraf Hakimi, Adama Traore CB: Jules Kounde, Raphael Varane, Edmond Tapsoba CDM: Declan Rice, Aurelien Tchouameni, Julian Weigl LW: Jack Grealish ST: Erling Haaland, Romelu Lukaku

EVERTON RB: Denzel Dumfries, Zeki Celik CB: Takehiro Tomiyasu, Chris Smalling, Conor Coady RW: Silas Katompa Mvumpa LW: Pedro Neto

LEEDS UNITED CB: Japhet Tanganga LB: Borna Barisic, Nico Tagliafico CM: Rodrigo de Paul RM: Noni Madueke, Adama Traore

LEICESTER CITY CB: Jonathan Tah LB: Ryan Bertrand CDM: Boubakary Soumare ST: Odsonne Edouard, Tammy Abraham

LIVERPOOL CB: Ibrahima Konate (Joined IRL), Raphael Varane, Cristian Romero CM: Florian Neuhaus, Lorenzo Pellegrini RW: Raphinha, Ousmane Dembele ST: Patson Daka, Donyell Malen

MANCHESTER CITY LB: Nuno Mendes, Grimaldo CDM: Denis Zakaria ST: Erling Haaland, Harry Kane, Alexander Isak

MANCHESTER UNITED RB: Kieran Trippier, Max Aarons CB: Raphael Varane, Jules Kounde, Pau Torres, Cristian Romero CDM: Declan Rice, Denis Zakaria, Ruben Neves, Franck Kessie RW: Jadon Sancho, Kingsley Coman ST: Harry Kane, Erling Haaland, Alexander Isak, Andre Silva, Cristiano Ronaldo

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR RB: Max Aarons, Zeki Celik CB: Ben White, Milan Škriniar CDM: Marcelo Brozović LM: Jonathan Bamba ST: Wilfried Zaha, Ivan Toney, Nicolas Gonzalez

WEST HAM UNITED CB: Duje Ćaleta-Car LB: Junior Firpo, Rico Henry CDM: Oscar Dorley CAM: Jesse Lingard, Ross Barkley ST: Tammy Abraham, Eddie Nketiah, Abdallah Sima

WOLVES GK: Jose Sa CB: Eduardo Quaresma CM: Renato Sanches RM: Diogo Goncalves

Phil

Me: Hi pregnant, I'm Dad!

Wife: No you're not.

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

So I’m a city fan , but I’ve always liked palace and using them on football manager trying to make realistic signings.... who do you fans want in and out ?

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

Well, toucan play at that game.

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!