I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Though there are posts labelled Monday, Wednesday, and today, i swear all three of these updates were added to the site in the last hour? in any case we have an official description of the new record.
"AGAINST ALL LOGIC 3XLP VINYL IS NOW SHIPPING Posted on Mon, 18 May 2020 Available on Bandcamp: https://against-all-logic.bandcamp.com/album/2017-2019 (Illusions EP feat. Lydia Lunch and FKA twigs is also on vinyl)"
"TELAS Posted on Wed, 20 May 2020 Telas (Veils) is multiple things at once. It's a visual terrain created by artist Somnath Bhatt. It's a record by Nicolás Jaar, with key contributions from Milena Punzi (cello), Susanna Gonzo (voice), Anna Ippolito & Marzio Zorio (instrument makers), and Heba Kadry (mastering). It's a digital terrain created by Abeera Kamran where the sounds and illustrations of Telas live in their liquid primordial states. The site was imagined by Abeera, Somnath and Nicolás as a panspermic terrain where particles travel through space, weaving together life forms, where no matter -whether existing in thought, physical form or other- has a solid or unmovable origin.
The cover of the record depicts a cosmic spinneret in the act of web-making.
Multiple parts of the music were first played during two shows at The Kitchen in NYC in the fall of 2017, alongside performances by Africanus Okokon and Patrick Higgins. (https://thekitchen.org/event/other-people-presents-two-shows)
Telas is Nicolás Jaar's 6th full length album, and follows Cenizas from earlier this year.
Tracklist: Telahora Telencima Telahumo Telallás"
"TELAHORA LIVE ON AIR FOR RADIO ALHARA Posted on Fri, 22 May 2020 First 'Telas' stream will begin tomorrow (May 23) at 20:00 Central European Time (2pm NY) link : https://yamakan.place/palestine/"
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
So I was that person who "didn't listen to podcasts" until about a year ago. Then, one day, I stumbled into the realization that podcasts are a bit like Reddit: there are a lot of small, esoteric, niche podcasts about music (production, history, business, criticism, etc.) if you have the energy to find them and try them out.
Fast forward to now, and I find myself listening to 1-2 hours of podcasts a day (yep, lots of laundry to fold!). Almost all of them covering some aspect of music. I'm sure I've only stumbled on the most obvious shows, so I'd like to ask for your suggestions.
Here are the one's I've enjoyed and what category I'd roughly put them in:
- Ableton Music Producer Podcast (production). I'm not a regular listener to this one because I don't use Ableton, but occasionally there's a great guest that gets me to tune in.
- Bobby Owsinski's Inner Circle Podcast ("music industry analysis, news, review and interviews"). Again, not a regular listen, but I do keep an eye out for great interviews.
- Broken Record with Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam and Justin Richmond (interviews). Quirky podcast, but the opening episode with Rick Rubin and the interview with Andre 3000 are excellent.
- The Cymatics Show (interviews, production, not active). Hosts are not up my alley, but they do land some great interviews. I really enjoyed the interviews with Blank For.ms, Steven Slate, and several others.
- Dissect ("forensically dissecting music"). Unpacking of how songs were made and what they mean.
- The EDM Prodcast (interviews, production). A consistently great (and consistently produced) podcast. Great host. Interviews with a broad range of electronic music producers. A regular listen.
- EDM Producer Podcast (interviews, production, not active). Perhaps a podcast that pre-dated the one above and appears to be no longer publishing. The archive is quite good and there are some great interviews with artists on the Mau5trap label.
- The Finish More Music Podcast (self-help?)
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
