Gravity is the best guru

They really keep you down to earth

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Did you hear about the guru at the dentist who refused anesthetic?

He was trying to transcend dental medication.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bustergonad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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I'm going to move to Canada and become a Guru for Sight, Hearing, Smell, Taste and Touch...

I'll be a Sense-eh!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoodafakizit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
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How did the guru cross the river?

He swami across it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
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Hot dog stand

A guru walks over to a hot dog stand and says to the vendor, "Make me one with everything."

The vendor makes a hot dog with all the toppings and hands it to the guru and says, "Here's one with everything, that will be $3.50 please."

The guru takes the hot dog and gives the vendor a $10.00 bill...

The vendor takes the money and puts it into his bag without give the guru any change...

The guru says, "Hey, where's my change?"

The vendor patiently replies, "Change must come from within.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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My mate, Skippy, is a bit of a nerd. Just last night he spent 2 hours telling me about all the characters named Kang.

For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time

or

In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.

I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Jordan Peterson is a controversial figure but he did figure out something interesting.

So he’s mostly known as a psychologist, self help Guru and β€œphilosopher” but he also did some interesting work in Marine Biology.

One of the papers he worked on was on how the nuclear tests in the Bikini Atol effected Predator genetics.

The results learned that the nuclear tests during the cold war disrupted shark breeding so much that species were splitting apart.

They called it the Post Modern Neo Shark Schism.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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