How do you know you’ve grated enough cheese?

When it turns red.

BONUS CONTENT: I painfully remembered this one while cooking dinner tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeButNotMeToo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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A friend was grating parmesan cheese over pasta and said the cheese looked like a polygon.

I said, "Well, if you keep grating it, soon it will be all gone."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/centstwo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Have you ever heard the joke about the cheese grate?

Its grate and all but it's a bit cheesy!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.

also in the news:

Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My wife and I were making nachos, and she told me she was gonna start grating the cheese.

I asked her if penmanship counts.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/euratowel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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My wife was grating some cheese then suddenly she pulled her hand away and said 'Ow, I think I cut my finger!'

I turned to her and said 'damn that is some sharp cheddar!'

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDutchArmy
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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Make it grate. Like grating cheese. ha ha
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atoastedbox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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you don’t grate cheese here... you shReddit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked if she could grate extra cheese on top of my pizza.

Parmesan granted.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfsnare24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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Someone told me Trumps last order as president is to outlaw shredded cheese.

Hmm guess he wants to make America grate again πŸ€”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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People that have a cheese fetish really grate on me.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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My wife asked me to grate the cheese

I gave it a 6/10

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DPhils
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I was grating some cheese for my dad

He said, "Thanks, you did a grate job."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nslade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
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Me while grating the cheese this morning.

Me: Ouch!

Mom & Aunt: What?!

Me: That cheddar was sharp!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kneeonball
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a row of people lifting mozzarella?

A cheesy pick up line.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Webthryst
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump is reportedly banning the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Throwawayn019283
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Can you believe Trump wants to ban shakers of parmesan from supermarket shelves, only allowing it to be sold in wedge form?

He says he wants to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopsicleMud
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2016
🚨︎ report
When you finally go for it. imgur.com/lRHxrSc
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
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My 3yr old daughter got my wife sooo good

while holding a block of cheddar like a camera

Hey mom! Say cheese!

She then flashed her silly grin

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YodaLeiaHoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a polite cheesemaker?

Curdeous

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/l_phtx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
🚨︎ report
The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
In which my dad keeps up with politics in the US.

Home made pizza night at my parents place. Dad points to a bag of pre-grated mozzarella cheese and says "I hear Trump wants to ban that stuff", "What?", "He says he wants to make America grate again"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BountyHNZ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my co worker earlier.

She said "I grated my hand on the cheese grater this morning". I said "I hope you gave it an A+"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NCH_PANTHER
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my waitress tonight!

A little background, I'm in my twenties eating at an Italian restaurant where they ask you if you'd like some extra cheese grated on top of your meal. The waitress was young and cute, so this went down:

Waitress: "Would you like cheese on your Ravioli?"

Me: "Sure, that would be great!" <grate>

Waitress: cracks a smile

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/88high
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad made a cheesy pun

Was making some mac n cheese with my dad and while grating the cheese my dad belts out in a thick Scottish accent, "This is going to be great!" Never rolled my eyes so hard and he had the biggest dumb smile on his face. The mac and cheese did turn out pretty good though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeBlazing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Lactose Intolerant

My boyfriend and I were making tacos for dinner tonight. I was grating the cheese and munching on it when I mentioned that I was lactose intolerant. He responded, "You shouldn't judge those who lack toes, its not their fault."

I hope he's the father of my children one day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigglyGoose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
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Donald Trump...

At taco night with my kids: Me: Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban all of that preshredded taco cheese? Kids: <blank stare> Me: Because he wants to make America grate again! Kids: <groan, get up, leave table> Me: Left laughing hysterically by myself. worth it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarlet_engineer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Grate, now what am I supposed to do?

Grate, now what am I supposed to do?

(Happened when I was trying to prepare a grilled cheese for my daughter's lunch)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iugrad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joked the waiter

I'm eating at an Italian restaurant and the waiter brings my spaghetti. He says, "Would you like some cheese with your meal?" I say, "Yes please. That would be grate."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RadicalRagequit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Just moved out and was buying things for the apartment...

and got a text from my dad:

Dad: "Do you guys need a cheese grater?"

Me: "No. We already have one."

Dad: "Grate!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thekraken47
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Cheese Grater

So my sisters boyfriend is grating cheese for a super bowl dip. He looks up and says, "I'm the gratest."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jake261
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about the cheese grate?

Its grate and all but it's a bit cheesy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Make cheese grate again
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Boycott packaged shredded cheese...

Make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billiamlumbergh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call imported shredded cheese?

ImmaGRATED cheese.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheseBonesAlone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Blocks of cheese are nice...

But shredded cheese is grate!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NonstopSuperguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
a really bad joke

My name is Brie and I have and addiction to cheese. It’s pretty grate. I thought I would be okay. But now I know I can’t deal with it it on my provolone. My addiction isn’t cheesy I promise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scrjejeheheebbe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were cooking together...

I asked her to help me grate some cheese. So she picked up our second grater and we were both grating cheese together. I then turned around so I was back on to her. She asked me what I was doing and I told her "behind every grate man is a grate woman".

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BummySugar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
🚨︎ report
So I'm at school with my crush...

Culinary school, that is. Our chef tells her she needs to shred some cheese for the sandwiches we were making. So as she's walking over to get the tool she needs, I tell her,

"You'd better do a grate job."

I think those rolling eyes mean she's finally starting to like me back.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSpectre69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
🚨︎ report

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