I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo
It was great. She’s a keeper.
In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.
Hey girl!! Are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you everyday.
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
Why do white girls travel in odd number groups?
Cuz they literally can’t even
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
A Girl takes a pregnancy test, mortified, she looks her boyfriend, dead in the eyes, and says...
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
So a blonde girl is deciding to be a videogame Youtuber....
After she makes and edits her video she starts to take pictures of her hands. Her mom walks by seeing this and asks "Why are you taking so many pictures of your thumbs?". The blond girl replies " If you want people to watch your YouTube videos you gotta have great thumbnail pictures."
I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.
Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.
I asked a girl for her hand. She thinks I'm nuts.
Thai girls are like a box of chocolates....
You never know which ones have the nuts.
A girl on Tinder told me she wanted to be friends with benefits.
But I don't have health insurance or a retirement plan so I told her I couldn't.
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
I was dating a girl with a wooden leg
What’s a girl’s favorite candy bar?
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
Say what you will about horse girls
But they definitely know how to ride
Edit: First time post here, just felt like horsing around
How do you tell the sex of an ant? You drop it in water. It sinks: girl ant. It floats:...
A girl came up to me and said she recognized me from her vegetarian restaurant. I was a bit confused.
What did Homer say to Bart when Bart was getting too obsessed with a girl?
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday
I think we should call all bisexual girls..
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
So, a boy tells a girl a joke...
He says "what do you call it when an environmentalist sets a forest on fire?"
She says "I don't know."
He says "Treeson." The girl laughs
He follows saying "Yknow, if you'd like more of these jokes, I got them from a cool source if you're interested."
The girl says "Yes, I'm interested."
The boy then replies "Good to know SOMEONE is interested in me."
Why is Shaniece considered a girl's name?
Because if it was a boys name it would be Shanephew
What do you call a pretty girl from Georgia with a limp?
A peach hobbler.
(One of my kids favorites).
The youngest girl in our family wants to be a male semiconductor device for amplifying, controlling, and generating electrical signals when she grows up.
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?
Burnadebt
(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)
Why is it so hard to get a date with a girl who likes horses?
Because she is already in a stable relationship...
I feel sorry for girls in wheelchairs
Their boyfriends are always pushing them around and talking behind their backs.
I went to school with a girl named Nonstick cooking spray
We tried calling her Pam, but it just didn’t stick.
I asked a blind girl out in braille today...
A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.
“I’m a turtle,” he says.
“Oh... who’s on your back?”
“That’s Michelle,” he replies.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why did the girl date a zombie?
'Cause liked her for her brains!
Why did the girl break up with the zombie?
'Cause he was dead inside!
I’m starting to lose trust in the cross eyed girl I’m dating.
I think she’s seeing other people on the side.
Remember boys, if your girl looks like this, she's a kiefer.
Who’s been a baaaaaad girl?
A girl took me back to her place. The curtains were drawn
but the furniture was real
Which spice girl can hold the most petrol?
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
loaf-i girl. (full credit to u/F-inthechatguy)
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