I was playing a zombie game last night, and sliced off the left side of a zombie

It scared my wife pretty bad.

I assured her he’s all right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance

πŸ‘︎ 245
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.

He instantly replied, β€œbut mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”

(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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You should never invite big cats to a games night

They are dirty cheetahs, and if they deny they are, they are lion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pusilli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fluxitup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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I got a new fishing game last night

I'm hooked, I just can't get off of it.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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My family decided to have a Board Game night, but couldn’t agree on what to play.

Finally we settled on Catan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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I don't understand why so many people hate the Night King from Game of Thrones

He looks pretty chill to me

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rahull95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Me telling my friend Juan about the soccer game last night.

"Juan we won one, Juan!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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My dad hit me with this one last night while playing board games.

Me: Go ahead and draw seven cards.

Dad: Okay, can you give me a pencil?

Me: What for?

Dad: To draw seven cards.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/topdogg8990
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
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"Good night, no more games, go to sleep now" I say. "But Daddy..." my daughter says...

"And don't call me Buttdaddy! It's disrespectful!" I reply.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcb720
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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Mr. Potato Head went to a basketball game last night.

He was a spec-tater.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
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I was watching the hockey game last night...

... and I gotta say that last play was the icing on the cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/munchlaxmaster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2013
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I was at the Tigers game last night

I was sitting in some beautiful seats, just past third base down on ground level. A good spot for some foul balls.

After several whiffs, one finally gets close enough to my father, which he promptly takes in the ribs instead of catching, and like before, the bat boy runs by to pick up the ball - only this time he doesn't throw it back into the crowd. Makes our whole section upset (that, and all the beer we were drinking) so he gets booed every time he walks by now.

The dad joke, however, comes from the guy behind me.

"That kid better watch out...I'm gonna talk to his dad. Batman!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4ed4e
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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There was a dad behind me at a hockey game last night.

The opening period was almost over, the crowd was quiet as there wasn't much action going on and suddenly I hear a lone dad behind me ask loudly to the crowd, 'How many minutes are remaining in the period?' In perfect timing the arena announcer then exclaims over the loudspeaker, 'There is one minute remaining in the period. One minute.' I smirked and the dad was the only one who laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajones321
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2014
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My son got us all, and made his little brother cry, at game night.

We were playing a popular table top naval warfare game, and my son proclaimed his next shot, "I-1!"

His little brother, who was already slightly behind, burst into tears, yelling, "What? You can't do that! Mom that's not fair."

It took us all a few seconds to figure out why he was so upset.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KhabaLox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2015
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(Maybe kinda sorta potential spoiler) Game of Thrones ending was brutal last night...

...I keep hearing him scream...Oberyn Oberyn over again...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/panzergling
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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Dad used this last night after the Basketball game

So after the game we took the elevator to get out of the stadium. They have an Elevator attendant who has their own personal tv to watch the game. I said this to my dad.

Me- That would be a great job to have.

My Dad- the job has its ups and downs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TripleD_97
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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Got this one from my girlfriends dad during game night....

GF "Well we met in Marching Band" Dad "Well you know what that means? Your kids are gonna be horny!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/funkydumpling
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Dad got me at the hockey game last night...

So we went to the Wild's preseason game against the Blues last night and there was a blues player who fell down after blocking a shot with his inner thigh. It reminded me of this goal (http://www.reddit.com/tb/2i8prv) I saw on r/hockey yesterday that JvR scored off his weiner, and told my dad about it.

His response: That's nuts! Good thing it wasn't in their own goal, that would've been a dick move.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grafiteballoon7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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My dad sent me this text last night after Kolten Wong was picked off to end Game 4 of the World Series

"The picked off Cardinal base runner was in the Wong place at the Wong time."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acooper1995
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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