The hatch opened with a hiss and Mathias slipped in quickly and sealed the door with his back to the deck. He could hear the shuffling behind him and he wondered if he’d turn around to find it had all been a trap. He took a deep breath which fogged the visor of his helmet and pulled on the retention locks to unlock it from his armor and pull it off of his head. The cool air rushed in and bit at his cheeks. He blinked slowly as his heels shifted and his body turned. When his eyelids peeled open once again, he could see him standing across the deck with a wide grin on his ash and dirt plastered face and a flash of joy in his deep, burdened eyes.
Mathias set down the heavy metal case he carried and took a step forward. “Edward Drake,” he mumbled under his breath. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. After so long and fearing he’d never see Edward again, here he was in the flesh. Besides looking beat and ten years older than he was two years ago, he hadn’t changed in the slightest. Edward grabbed the arm of his brother and brought him in for a tight embrace. For all his worries of seeing his old friends and for all his fears that he no longer deserved to stand by their side, he finally felt like he had come back to the fold.
“It’s been… too long!” Edward exclaimed. “I’m glad to see you, Mathias.”
“As I am to see you, brother.”
Edward pulled back and the moment of elation passed them quickly. “There’s no time to catch up,” Edward said abruptly, his demeanor becoming grim. “Where’s Landa?”
Mathias was dumbfounded. If Edward had somehow found him then surely he knew what they were in the midst of accomplishing. “He’s in the prison. They’re trying to rescue Jory.” Edward grimaced. Even the strangers who accompanied Edward seemed forlorn to this news. Mathias felt lost. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “What’s going on?”
“And Richard? Where’s DeWitte?”
“He’s with him! What’s going on, Drake? What’s wrong?”
Edward cursed under his breath and turned away with his hand swiping across the top of his head in despair. Mathias was going mad trying to figure out what was happening. He stepped forward and grasped Edward’s arm.
“What is it?”
“We need to get to the prison,” Edward stated sternly, a heavy grimace on his tired face. “Richard has been working with the Federation. They know Landa’s coming. They know the entire plan. We need to go… now.”
Richard shook his head and stepped away from Edward. It was all just too much way too fast for him
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
And boy are my arms legs.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.)
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
Putting my son to bed last night and out of nowhere he says “knock knock” I say “who’s there?” Nothing… I explain the idea of a knock knock joke to him and he tries again… “knock knock” “who’s there?” “hop hop!“ he says.. I say “hop hop who?” And start dying laughing… he starts dying laughing…
.. for those that don’t know… hop hop is an owl he likes to watch on YouTube.
Kids got potential.
I think he got lucky but I genuinely started laughing so hard and he did too. Was a cute moment thought I’d share
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
